Bryan Fields Quotes

When a Dragon, an Elf, and a Human walk into a bar, the Human is always going to be the punch line.

~ Bryan Fields

Fireball doesn’t need a search warrant.

~ Bryan Fields

I will never understand why you Humans weren’t designed to recycle your body’s water after filtering waste. It’s just so much more efficient.

~ Bryan Fields

The difference between the quest for the Holy Grail and someone saying ‘bring me a cup’ is the flavor text and the number of stops involved.

~ Bryan Fields

The sad thing about miracles is that they’re unique. They can’t be explained, or shared, or duplicated. And they absolutely cannot be captured and made to perform on demand. If that day ever came, our world would die for lack of wonder.

~ Bryan Fields

Riding a Dragon is amazing, exhilarating, and murder on the thighs.

~ Bryan Fields

So, what’s the issue with Unicorns?”“Imagine a cat,” Rose said. “Not just a cat, but a cat that is such a cat, other cats come to it for cat lessons. Take a thousand cats, refine them down to a single drop of pure essence of cat, and make a whole cat out of the stuff.”I shivered. “Ewww. And that’s a Unicorn?”“No,” she said. “That’s an Elf. A Unicorn is a thousand times worse. An Elf you can reason with.

~ Bryan Fields