It’s common to reject or punish yourself when you’ve been rejected by others. When you experience disappointment from the way your family or others treat you, that’s the time to take special care of yourself. What are you doing to nurture yourself? What are you doing to protect yourself? Find a healthy way to express your pain.

~ Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen Disappointment Nurturing Pain Punishing Punishment Rejection Self Care

The inability to get something out of your head is a signal that shouts, “Don’t forget to deal with this!” As long as you experience fear or pain with a memory or flashback, there is a lie attached that needs to be confronted. In each healing step, there is a truth to be gathered and a lie to discard.

~ Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen Brain Fear Flashback Full Of Thoughts Head Healing Lie Lies Mind Negative Thoughts Pain Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Ptsd Sign Signal Trauma Traumatic Truth

In a healthy relationship, vulnerability is wonderful. It leads to increased intimacy and closer bonds. When a healthy person realizes that he or she hurt you, they feel remorse and they make amends. It’s safe to be honest. In an abusive system, vulnerability is dangerous. It’s considered a weakness, which acts as an invitation for more mistreatment. Abusive people feel a surge of power when they discover a weakness. They exploit it, using it to gain more power. Crying or complaining confirms that they’ve poked you in the right spot.

~ Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen Abuse Abuse Survivors Abusive Relationships Domestic Violence Emotional Abuse Healthy Relationships Intimacy Power Survivors Vulnerability Vulnerability Intimacy Weakness

If you are trading silence or compliance for love, you are being cheated. When acceptance or love is withheld if you reveal secrets, the value of the relationship is just an illusion. Love cannot be earned, bought or traded–only freely given. You are worthy of love that doesn’t require you to protect your abuser or sacrifice yourself.

~ Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen Abuse Acceptance Compliance Love Relationship Respect Sacrifice Secrets Self Sacrifice Silence

I no longer look to my abusers with any expectation– of remorse, or apology or restitution or restoration or relationship. I’m at peace, accepting that they won’t and can’t help me out of the mess they created. But, I’m the best qualified for that job anyway and I’m happy with the job I’m doing.

~ Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen Abuse Survivors Abusive Parents Acceptance Apology At Peace Broken Relationships Child Abuse Child Sexual Abuse Forgiveness Forgiveness And Letting Go Forgiveness Quotes Healing From Abuse Healing Insights Healing Journey Healing The Past Letting Go Of Anger No Contact Recovery Remorse Restitution Survivors

I believed I was too sensitive and weak. To “prove” I wasn’t a victim anymore, I moved closer to painful experiences rather than away from them. Remaining in harm’s way and exposing myself to more pain kept me in the victim role rather than moving me out of it.

~ Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen Belief System Harm Healing Pain Sensitive Suffering Victim Victim Role Victimization Weak

The introduction to horrors so young impressed on me just how helpless and vulnerable I was. Parents are supposed to empower their children to live without them but in my family, I wasn’t given permission to be my own person. I thought I needed them to live and then they abandoned me. It’s no wonder I felt so unempowered well into my adult years.

~ Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen Abandonment Child Abuse Child Sexual Abuse Dependent Horror Independence Power Unempowered

The childhood sexual abuse taught me that my value came from sex. In adulthood, I was driven to have sex since I always felt worthless. I felt important and desired until it was over and then I felt like garbage—the same way I did after the abuse. I desperately needed to feel valued again, which led to more sex. My sex addiction only stopped when I believed that I’m valuable apart from anything I do.

~ Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen Addiction Child Abuse Child Sexual Abuse Low Self Esteem Rejection Sexual Abuse Value Worthless

A person raised in a healthy family is equipped to live a confident and independent life, someone from an unhealthy family is filled with fear and self-doubt. He has difficulty with the prospect of life without someone else. The devaluing messages of control and manipulation create dependency so those who most need to leave their family of origin are the least equipped to do so.

~ Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen Abuse Abusive Family Abusive Parents Child Abuse Child Abuse Effects Dependency Doubt Fear Healing From Abuse Manipulation Self Doubt Unhealthy

The fear of abandonment forced me to comply as a child, but I’m not forced to comply anymore. The key people in my life did reject me for telling the truth about my abuse, but I’m not alone. Even if the consequence for telling the truth is rejection from everyone I know, that’s not the same death threat that it was when I was a child. I’m a self-sufficient adult and abandonment no longer means the end of my life.

~ Christina Enevoldsen

Christina Enevoldsen Abandonment Abandonment Issues Abuse Deniers Abused Child Abusive Family Abusive Parents Accepting The Past Child Abuse Child Abuse Survivor Child Abuse Survivors Child Sexual Abuse Child Sexual Abuse Survivor Childhood Abuse Childhood Sexual Abuse Consequences Of Cruelty Controlling Parents Disclosing Abuse Dysfunctional Families Dysfunctional Family Escaping Abuse Family Abuse Fear Of Abandonment Fear Of Death Fear Of Rejection Incest Just Tell Moving On Revealing The Truth Self Sufficiency Survivors Telling Your Story Truth About Abuse