In Britain, a cup of tea is the answer to every problem.Fallen off your bicycle? Nice cup of tea.Your house has been destroyed by a meteorite? Nice cup of tea and a biscuit.Your entire family has been eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex that has travelled through a space/time portal? Nice cup of tea and a piece of cake. Possibly a savoury option would be welcome here too, for example a Scotch egg or a sausage roll.

~ David Walliams

David Walliams Absurdity Britishness Cake Humour Tea Tyrannosaurus Rex

It was impossible to sleep. Anxiety stopped me from falling asleep, depression woke me up.

~ David Walliams

David Walliams Anxiety Depression Insomnia Sleep

Adults always ask kids how they are doing at school. The one subject kids absolutely hate talking about. You don't even want to talk about school when you are at school.

~ David Walliams

David Walliams School

My name is Mr Bread. He began writing his name neatly on the board. But you can call me Peter.Suddenly there was quiet, as thirty little brains whirred.Pita Bread! proclaimed a ginger-haired boy from the back.

~ David Walliams

David Walliams Billionaire Boy Bread Funny Humour Peter Pan Wit

I don't have a fear factor. Well, not much of one. And I'm willing to risk quite a lot - as a comedian, you're always risking a lot. You're risking failure, especially if you're improvising and going on TV shows trying to make comedy out of thin air. That is quite a risky business.

~ David Walliams

David Walliams Business Fear Risk

I know somebody from university who's called Phil Collins, and I think there's something terribly unfortunate about sharing a name with somebody who either is famous or becomes famous.

~ David Walliams

David Walliams Name Know Think

I've noticed that once you leave London you do kind of become a bit more famous. People in London are a bit too cool for school. It's not so unusual to see someone from London in the street. But outside of London people are a bit more excited to see you and come out and support you.

~ David Walliams

David Walliams School Support Cool

I used to have a silk dressing gown an uncle bought in Japan and when I came downstairs in it, my dad used to call me Davinia. There was never embarrassment about that kind of thing. My sister used to dress me up a lot. She thought I was a little doll.

~ David Walliams

David Walliams Sister Dress Me