You know you're getting older when you don't care where your wife goes just so you don't have to go along.
~ Jacob Braude
Marriage is like a violin. After the beautiful music is over the strings are still attached.
she: Before we got married you told me you were well-off. he: I was and I didn't know it.
The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a male is when he's a baby.
Father reading report card: One thing in your favor - with these grades you couldn't possibly be cheating.
speaker: I have only ten minutes and hardly know where to begin. voice in back: Begin at the ninth.
