Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
~ Joey Adams
I want to die like my grandfather died . . . peacefully in his sleep. Not like the other three people screaming in the car.
A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late - and strike oil.'
If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.
