John Scalzi Quotes

The failure mode of clever is “asshole.

~ John Scalzi

For as much as I hate the cemetery, I’ve been grateful it’s here, too. I miss my wife. It’s easier to miss her at a cemetery, where she’s never been anything but dead, than to miss her in all the places where she was alive.

~ John Scalzi

In general there should be gay characters in YA because a) surprise, there are gay folks everywhere and b) in my opinion as a father, there’s not a damn thing wrong with my child encountering gay folks in her literature, because see point a).

~ John Scalzi

Fear is a scavenger who feeds on the future; on what may be and what is possible, extending down the line of our lives.

~ John Scalzi

Fear sits and smiles and is predatory, immobile and silent and serene; an observer who conserves his energy and is content to wait.

~ John Scalzi

Damn real live people, getting in the way of peaceful ideals.

~ John Scalzi

I'll say it: I want to see an ugly woman as a spokeswoman for a women's network. Ugly men are out there all the time – look at Larry King, for God's sake. He looks like someone's talking underwear. Why not give America a spokeswoman who ain't much to look at but is competent as Hell? If accomplishments actually count for women, this ought to be a no-brainer.

~ John Scalzi

That’s what I’d ask you to do: Hope for peace. Because I know that I would love to be able to lay down my weapon and get to being a colonist. Just like you are. Just like I want to be.

~ John Scalzi

Making peace is often a simple thing, but simple isn’t the same thing as easy.

~ John Scalzi

You can’t afford anthropomorphic biases when some of the aliens most like us would rather make human hamburgers than peace.

~ John Scalzi

I'm more interested in becoming a commercial writer, and unfortunately, commentary on my writing from a bunch of other unpublished writers is of little utility in that regard. Being a better writer is something of a moot point, since if you're not a commercial writer to some extent, very few people will know whether your writing is any good or not.

~ John Scalzi

If your social consciousness seems stuck in 1975, 2014 is gonna be a rough ride.

~ John Scalzi

Destiny gets compressed, you know, into just that small fraction of a second you have right in front of you at any one time. And there’s nothing romantic about keeping your head down to avoid getting shot, or trying to save a friend who’s been injured, or coming face to face with a creature who is as smart and mean and as terrified of dying as you are, and who wants to make sure that if someone is left on the ground there, it’s you and not it.

~ John Scalzi

Creativity eventually comes from the need not to have ourselves or other people eaten by leopards.

~ John Scalzi

I was getting away with something in my own way. But then I get here and saw you, brain-dead and with tubes coming out of every part of your body. And I realized I wasn't getting away with anything. Just like you didn't get away with anything. You were just born, fucked around for a while, got hit by a car and died, and that's your whole life story right there. You don't win by getting through all you life not having done anything.

~ John Scalzi

Trust your weapon, it is almost certainly smarter than you are. Remember this and you may yet live.

~ John Scalzi

Dreher laments we now live in a “post-Christian” America, but he’s wrong. The Americans who are standing with their loved ones and neighbors are in fact doing exactly what Jesus asked them to do, when he said that we should love each other as we love ourselves. It’s possible, however, that we live in a post-accepting-bigotry-cloaking-itself-in-the-raiments-of-Christ America. And, you know. I can live in that America just fine.

~ John Scalzi

Rich people show their appreciation through favors. When everyone you know has more money than they know what to do with, money stops being a useful transactional tool. So instead you offer favors. Deals. Quid pro quos. Things that involve personal involvement rather than money. Because when you're that rich, your personal time is your limiting factor.

~ John Scalzi

I do not mind when you tell me what you want and put that first instead of last.

~ John Scalzi

Is it painful? the groundskeeper asked. I am asking for science.

~ John Scalzi

To everyone who thinks writing a sequel should be easy because you've already clreated the universe: Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha! Heh. No.

~ John Scalzi

What is it like when you lose someone you love? Jane asked.You die, too. And you wait around for your body to catch up.

~ John Scalzi

Part of what makes us human is what we mean to other people, and what people mean to us. I miss meaning something to someone, having that part of being human.

~ John Scalzi

After our negotiations were completed, the dome would be imploded and launched toward the nearest black hole, so that none of its atoms would ever contaminate this particular universe again. I thought that last part was overkill.

~ John Scalzi

I'm going to go pee. If the universe is bigger and stranger than I can imagine, it's best to meet it with an empty bladder.

~ John Scalzi

The universe isn't going to be conquered by legions of geriatrics. No offense.

~ John Scalzi

The universe is a big place. Maybe we're not in the best neighborhood.

~ John Scalzi

Relations were never good (how comfortable can you really be with a race that sees you as a nutritious part of a complete breakfast).

~ John Scalzi

What we don't know can't hurt us.

~ John Scalzi

The rest of the rebels were recruited from the ranks of the young and excitable and had rather more enthusiasm than skill.

~ John Scalzi

You would rather face a life without me than to have me choose a life I would not choose for myself.

~ John Scalzi

Simply put, she was the one who had to put up with me. That she did so with love and patience and encouragement instead of strangling me, throwing my remains into a wood chipper, and then pretending she had never been married to me at all is a testament to the fact that she is, in fact, the single best person I know.

~ John Scalzi

When you're a kid all you want to do is be somewhere else.

~ John Scalzi

You do what you have to do to give people closure; it makes them feel better and it doesn’t cost you much to do it. I’d rather apologize for something I didn’t really care about, and leave someone on Earth wishing me well, than to be stubborn and have that someone hoping that some alien would slurp out my brains. Call it karmic insurance.

~ John Scalzi

Colonization is the key to our race’s survival. It’s as simple as that. We must colonize or be closed off and contained by other races.

~ John Scalzi

She was my friend. Briefly, she was my lover. She was braver than I ever would have been in the moment of death. And I bet she was a hell of a shooting star.

~ John Scalzi

Leon had attached himself to me in Chicago like a fat, brat-and-beer-filled tick; I was amazed that someone whose blood was clearly half pork grease had made it to age seventy-five.

~ John Scalzi

You say ‘cure.’ I hear ‘you’re not human enough.

~ John Scalzi

The problem with aging is not that it's one damn thing after another—it's every damn thing, all at once, all the time.

~ John Scalzi

1. Everyone is entitled to their opinion about the things they read (or watch, or listen to, or taste, or whatever). They’re also entitled to express them online.2. Sometimes those opinions will be ones you don’t like.3. Sometimes those opinions won’t be very nice.4. The people expressing those may be (but are not always) ass

~ John Scalzi