Maria Semple Quotes

Was it happiness I'd found in my long marriage? Or capitulation? Or is that all happiness is, capitulation?

~ Maria Semple

That was happiness. Not the framed greatest hits, but the moments in between. At the time, I hadn't pegged them as being particularly happy. But now, looking back at those phantom snapshots, I'm struck by my calm, my ease, the evident comfort with my life. I'm happy in retrospect.

~ Maria Semple

Maybe that’s what religion is, hurling yourself off a cliff and trusting that something bigger will take care of you and carry you to the right place.

~ Maria Semple

As far as I’m concerned, the only thing sweeter than seeing a friend is that friend canceling on me.

~ Maria Semple

Fast, Cheap, Good: Pick Two.

~ Maria Semple

Earlier this year, I'd told a mother at school I'd been married fifteen year. She asked, What's the secret to a long marriage? I thought for a second, then answered, Staying married.

~ Maria Semple

When “Here Comes the Sun” started, what happened? No, the sun didn’t come out, but Mom opened up like the sun breaking through the clouds. You know how in the first few notes of that song, there’s something about George’s guitar that’s just so hopeful? It was like when Mom sang, she was full of hope, too. She even got the irregular clapping right during the guitar solo. When the song was over, she paused it.“Oh, Bee,” she said. “This song reminds me of you.” She had tears in her eyes.

~ Maria Semple

My heart started racing, not the bad kind of heart racing, like I'm going to die. But the good kind of heart racing, like, Hello, can I help you with something? If not, please step aside because I'm about to kick the shit out of life.

~ Maria Semple

People like you must create. If you don't create, Bernadette, you will become a menace to society.

~ Maria Semple

I'd say I never considered myself a great architect. I'm more of a creative problem solver with good taste and a soft spot for logistical nightmares.

~ Maria Semple

Every single iceberg filled me with feelings of sadness and wonder. Not thoughts of sadness and wonder, mind you, because thoughts require a thinker, and my head was a balloon, incapable of thoughts. I didn't think about Dad, I didn't think about you, and, the big one, I didn't think about myself. The effect was like heroin (I think), and I wanted to stretch it out as long as possible.Even the simplest human interaction would send me crashing back to earthly thoughts. So I was the first one out in the morning, and the last one back. I only went kayaking, never stepped foot on the White Continent proper. I kept my head down, stayed in my room, and slept, but, mainly, I was. No racing heart, no flying thoughts.

~ Maria Semple

I was a ghost on a ghost ship in a ghost land

~ Maria Semple

Every feeling I ever knew was up in that sky: Twinkling joyous sunlight; airy, giggling cloud wisps; blinding columns of sun. Orbs of gold, pink, flesh, utterly cheesy in their luminosity. Gigantic puffy clouds, welcoming, forgiving, repeating infinitely across the horizon as if between mirrors; and slices of rain, pounding wet misery in the distance now, but soon on us, and in another part of the sky, a black stain, rainless.

~ Maria Semple

I just want to hold you close. I gave Timby a squeeze. He relaxed in my embrace. I'm wild about you, you know that, right?I know. He smiled up at me.You don't have to be wild about me too. Just try to like me a little more than you do now.

~ Maria Semple

I know it's a lot. But she can handle it. I'd rather ruin her with the truth than ruin her with lies.

~ Maria Semple

Your mission statement says Galer Street is based on global connectitude. (You people don't just think outside the box, you think outside the dictionary!)

~ Maria Semple

The penguins that spent most of their time fighting were the ones with no chicks...It's like they're supposed to be taking care of their chicks. But because they don't have any, they have nothing to do with all their energy. So they just pick fights.

~ Maria Semple

The sky in Seattle is so low, it felt like God had lowered a silk parachute over us. Every feeling I ever knew was up in that sky. Twinkling joyous sunlight; airy, giggle cloud wisps; blinding columns of sun. Orbs of gold, pink. flesh, utterly cheesy in their luminosity. Gigantic puffly clouds, welcoming, forgiving, repeating infinitely across the horizon as if between mirrors; and slices of rain, pounding wet misery in the distance now, but soon on us, and in another part of the sky, a black stain, rainless.

~ Maria Semple

What's this? She pulled out a card and held it away from her face. I can't read what it says. I took it from her and read it aloud.1. Beeber Bifocal2. Twenty Mile House3. Bee4. Your escapeFourteen miracles to go.

~ Maria Semple

the most random things get her way too full of love

~ Maria Semple

People like you must create. If you don’t create, Bernadette, you will become a menace to society.

~ Maria Semple

That's right,' she told the girls. 'You are bored. And I'm going to let you in on a little secret about life. You think it's boring now? Well, it only gets more boring. The sooner you learn it's on you to make life interesting, the better off you'll be.

~ Maria Semple

And I'm going to let you in on a little secret about life. You think it's boring now? Well, it only gets more boring. The sooner you learn it's on you to make life interesting, the better off you'll be.

~ Maria Semple

I don't know if it's a failure of imagination on my part, but I'm not going to be writing about Paris in the 1800s. I feel like it would come off as just ludicrously uninformed, even if I did a lot of research.

~ Maria Semple

My summer reading suggestion: Pick a really famous, really long novel.

~ Maria Semple

I quickly realized that shopping on Amazon had made the idea of parking my car and going into a store feel like an outrageous imposition on my time and good nature.

~ Maria Semple

My strength as a TV writer was my total lack of interest in television.

~ Maria Semple

After decades spent in rewrite rooms surrounded by other shouting writers, I discovered that I work best alone. I like being in charge of my time, working out the problems according to my own rhythms and being able to nap. That's a big one, the napping on demand!

~ Maria Semple

There's something uniquely exhilarating about puzzling together the truth at the hands of an unreliable narrator.

~ Maria Semple

Creating art is painful. It takes time, practice, and the courage to stand alone.

~ Maria Semple

I think because I try to keep things as real as I can, or I try to start from a place of reality, I almost don't have the imagination to write a book that's not set where I am.

~ Maria Semple