Building a good relationship with ourselves is essential for inner fulfilment, especially when we run into a large reality gap.
~ Russ Harris
The feeling of love comes and goes on a whim; you can't control it. But the action of love is something you can do, regardless of how you are feeling.
Rule 2: Genuine confidence is not the absence of fear, it is a transformed relationship with fear.
Fulfilment does not mean our difficult emotions disappear, it means we change our relationship with them.
Rule 1: The actions of confidence come first, the feelings of confidence come later.
Instead of a feeling, think of love as an action. The feeling of love comes and goes on a whim; you can’t control it. But the action of love is something you can do, regardless of how you are feeling.
The more importance we place on avoiding unpleasant feelings in life, the more our life tends to go downhill.
What holds you back is not fear, but your attitude towards it. The tighter you hold on to the attitude that fear is something ‘bad’ and you can’t do the things you want until it goes away, the more stuck you will be.
We need to pay attention with a particular attitude: one of openness, curiosity, and receptiveness.
Our thoughts are not the problem. Our thoughts do not create the psychological smog. It is the way we respond to our thoughts that creates the smog.
Rule 3: ‘Negative’ thoughts are normal. Don’t fight them, defuse them.
Stop trying to control how you feel, and instead take control of what you do.
The fact that you can act with love even when you don’t feel love is very empowering. Why? Because whereas the feelings of love are fleeting and largely out of your control, you can take the actions of love anytime and anyplace for the whole rest of your life.
Fear is not your enemy. It is a powerful source of energy that can be harnessed and used for your benefit.
