Tucker Max Quotes

The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above functionally retarded.

~ Tucker Max

I'm fresh out of fucks to give.

~ Tucker Max

No one has it all figured out, especially not the people who are acting like they do and judging you because of it. Pretending to be something you aren't because you're trying to please a bunch of judgmental hypocrites and shitheads is not the way to be happy. Living the life you want to live is. It really is that simple.

~ Tucker Max

Leave it up to hipster nerds to pretend to hate something that they actually want

~ Tucker Max

Ladies let me give you some advice: Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as “deserving” respect; you get what you demand from people

~ Tucker Max

If people try to judge you or shame you for doing safe, consensual things that make you happy, I can guarantee you they're bad people.

~ Tucker Max

People, heed my warning: That stuff is Specials Olympics in a pint glass. You think they are harmless and not very strong, and the next thing you know it is an hour later and you are in the bathroom of the bar with your pants off, surrounded by five girls, giving your boxers to a bachelorette party because one of the girls is cute and told you that you had a nice butt. Be forewarned. - from the Austin Road Trip story

~ Tucker Max

When I give speeches at college, I don't tell stories, I talk about what it is to live your dreams and take the path less traveled.

~ Tucker Max

I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That's the only way you can be genuinely happy.

~ Tucker Max

If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program.

~ Tucker Max

Whatever your favorite food is, if you eat it every day for a month, you're going to get sick of it.

~ Tucker Max

I've come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship.

~ Tucker Max