The best way of being kind to bears is not to be very close to them.

~ Margaret Atwood

Margaret Atwood Avoidance Bears Environment Nature Wildlife

Even with the desire for a better life, we can be reluctant to do the work of boundaries because it will be a war. The battle falls into two categories: outside resistance we get from others and the resistance we get from ourselves.

~ Henry Cloud

Henry Cloud Avoidance Avoiding The Issue Boundaries Conflict Healthy Relationships

Conflict avoidance often causes greater conflict.

~ Bryant Mcgill

Bryant Mcgill Avoidance Conflict Greater

Shame evokes anxiety about what will happen if someone really knows is, but, because it is impossible to for anxiety and anger to be felt simultaneously, we can dream our anxiety by employing anger or rage in the form of contempt... Contempt, because it feels more powerful has always helped us feel safer and more powerful than the anxiety we feel when we experience shame. [3]

~ Wendy J. Mahill

Wendy J. Mahill Abuse Survivors Ashamed Avoidance Contempt Healing Insights Psychological Defence Self Contempt Shame

Many of us learned that keeping busy…kept us at a distance from our feelings...Some of us took the ways we busied ourselves—becoming overachievers & workaholics—as self esteem…But whenever our inner feeling did not match our outer surface, we were doing ourselves a disservice…If stopping to rest meant being barraged with this discrepancy, no wonder we were reluctant to cease our obsessive activity.

~ Maureen Brady

Maureen Brady Abuse Survivors Avoidance Avoiding Pain Coping Mechanism Coping Mechanisms Coping Skills Healing Insights Keeping Busy Obsessions Overachievement Overachievers Overcomer Quotes Overwork Recovery Recovery From Abuse Workaholic Workaholism

This is the problem about thinking about something else to take your mind off something. It works for a little while, but in the end you always come back to the thing you were trying not to think about, only now whatever it was is worse.

~ Marcelo Figueras

Marcelo Figueras 2003 Avoidance Distraction Worry

With respect to the acceptance of dissociative disorders, as with most issues in life, it is counterproductive to spend time trying to convince people of things they don't want to know.

~ Warwick Middleton

Warwick Middleton Avoidance Denial Dissociation Dissociative Disorders Dissociative Identity Disorder Don T Want To Know Not Knowing Society Denial

Many survivors struggle to believe the abuse happened. They don’t want to believe it. It’s too painful to think about. They don’t want to accuse family members or face the terrible loss involved in realizing “a loved one” hurt them, they don’t want to rock the boat.

~ Laura Davis

Laura Davis Abuse Survivors Avoidance Child Abuse Survivors Denial Denial Of Abuse Denial Of Child Abuse Denial Of Incest Disbelief Facing Reality Parental Abuse Rock The Boat Survivors Survivors Of Abuse Trauma Memories

Sometimes buried memories of abuse emerge spontaneously. A triggering event or catalyst starts the memories flowing. The survivor then experiences the memories as a barrage of images about the abuse and related details. Memories that are retrieved in this manner are relatively easy to understand and believe because the person remembering is so flooded with coherent, consistent information.

~ Renee Fredrickson

Renee Fredrickson Abuse Survivors Avoidance Child Sexual Abuse Denial Healing Insights Survivors Trauma Memory

In my experience, it is entirely possible to watch something happen and not to see it at all.

~ Anna Funder

Anna Funder Avoidance Denial

One sure way I can avoid facing myself is by refusing to look into the face of God.

~ Craig D. Lounsbrough

Craig D. Lounsbrough Avoid Avoidance Denial Face Face Of God Look Myself Refuse Refusing

Avoidance is paying forward that which I would be much wiser to pay off.

~ Craig D. Lounsbrough

Craig D. Lounsbrough Avoid Avoidance Blame Denial Justification Pay It Forward Rationalization

You get hit the hardest when trying to run or hide from a problem. Like the defense on a football field, putting all focus on evading only one defender is asking to be blindsided.

~ Criss Jami

Criss Jami Avoidance Blind Spots Defense Evading Field Figurative Football Hiding Issues Problem Running Running Away

He was through with this conversation. As a rule, they tended to avoid questions like How sane are we? and Do our lives have meaning? The need for avoidance was acute and apparent to both of them.

~ Michael Chabon

Michael Chabon Avoidance Conversation Marriage

I worry about you. You’re good with people, I’ve seen it. You like them. But there’s a limit for you.” He opened his mouth to protest but she held up her hand to silence him. “I know. You do care. But inside the framework of a project. Right now it’s your studies. Later it’ll be roads and bridges. But people around you—their lives go on outside the framework. They’re not just tools to your hand, even likable tools. Your life should go on, too. You should have more than roads to live for. Because if something does go wrong, you’ll need what you’re feeling to matter, to someone somewhere, anyway.

~ Kij Johnson

Kij Johnson Avoidance Obsession Sublimation Workaholic