I live in a world where not being molested as a child is considered luck.

~ Mindy Mcginnis

Mindy Mcginnis Child Abuse

Because children take everything personally, they believe that if they are being mistreated, it's because they haven't been “good enough.” Being good as an adult makes them believe, incorrectly, that they have some control in life. They think that they will be rewarded for their goodness and that it will protect them from harm.

~ Marcia Sirota

Marcia Sirota Child Abuse Child Abuse Survivors Child Maltreatment Control Issues Controlled Emotional Abuse Good Enough People Pleasing Perfectionism

The happy family is a myth for many.

~ Carolyn Spring

Carolyn Spring Abusive Father Abusive Father S Abusive Mother Abusive Parents Child Abuse Child Abuse Survivors Childhood Abuse Complex Ptsd Complex Trauma Disorganized Attachment Dysfunctional Families Dysfunctional Family Happy Families Happy Family Neglect Perfect Childhood

The capacity for dissociation enables the young child to exercise their innate life-sustaining need for attachment in spite of the fact that principal attachment figures are also principal abusers.

~ Warwick Middleton

Warwick Middleton Abuse Survivors Abusive Parents Attachment Child Abuse Child Abuse Survivors Dissociation Dissociative Disorder Grooming Psychological Defense Trauma Bonding

As a child you received messages from your family to keep your mouth shut and remain invisible. You also learned to become invisible in order to protect yourself. You no longer need to be invisible to survive. If people do not notice you, they may not abuse you, but they also will not love you or attend to your needs. Make yourself and your needs known.

~ Beverly Engel

Beverly Engel Child Abuse Child Abuse Survivors Emotional Needs Healing Insights Needs And Wants Needy Self Neglect

When there is abuse by itself it's scary enough. When there is abuse within a religious setting it is so terrifying to people. Look how long its taken the Ryan report of 2009 took till then to talk about ritualistic kinds of abuse children in Ireland went through at the hands of nuns and priests, so nobody can bear it when its linked to religion, but when it's linked to religion that is not mainstream it seems to frighten people more. As if yes, abuse exists, Satanism exists, but you can't have Satanist abuse.

~ Valerie Sinason

Valerie Sinason Catholic Child Abuse Child Abuse Institutional Abuse Religious Abuse Ritual Abuse Ritualistic Abuse Satanic Ritual Abuse Satanist Cabuse Sra

When there is abuse by itself it's scary enough. When there is abuse within a religious setting it is so terrifying to people... nobody can bear it when it's linked to religion, but when it's linked to religion that is not mainstream it seems to frighten people more. As if yes, abuse exists, Satanism exists, but you can't have Satanist abuse.

~ Valerie Sinason

Valerie Sinason Child Abuse Religious Abuse Ritual Abuse

Sometimes the guys who look the most normal are the biggest pervs of all.

~ Teddy Wayne

Teddy Wayne Child Abuse Perverts Stalkers

The more we idealized the past, however, and refuse to acknowledge or childhood sufferings, the more we pass them on unconsciously to the next generation.

~ Alice Miller

Alice Miller Child Abuse Child Maltreatment Child Physical Abuse Idealization Of The Past

One of the reasons a survivor finds it so difficult to see herself as a victim is that she has been blamed repeatedly for the abuse: If you weren't such a whore, this wouldn't have to happen. Each time she is used and trashed, she becomes further convinced of her innate badness. She sees herself participating in forbidden sexual activity and may often get some sense of gratification from it even if she doesn't want to (it is, after all, a form of touch, and our bodies respond without the consent of our wills). This is seen as further proof that the abuse is her fault and well deserved. In her mind, she has become responsible for the actions of her abusers. She believes she is not a victim; she is a loathsome, despicable, worthless human being—if indeed she even qualifies as human. When the abuse has been sadistic in nature...these beliefs are futher entrenched.

~ Diane Mandt Langberg

Diane Mandt Langberg Abuse Survivors Child Abuse Child Sexual Abuse Child Sexual Abuse Survivor Child Sexual Abuse Survivors Complex Ptsd Complex Trauma Dehumanization Incest No Longer Human Self Blame Victim Blaming

Psychological abuse is.. the sustained, repetitive, inappropriate behavior which damages or substantially reduces the creative and developmental potential of crucially important mental faculties and mental processes of a child, including intelligence, memory, recognition, perception, attention, imagination, and moral development.

~ Kieran O'hagan

Kieran O'hagan Child Abuse Psychological Abuse

Richard Gardner (2004), the creator of ‘‘parental alienation syndrome’’, considers that the ‘‘parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is primarily a disorder of childhood. The false memory syndrome (FMS) is a disorder of young adults, primarily women. They share in common a campaign of acrimony against a parent’’. In reality, these so-called syndromes are both used to discredit the testimony of individuals who claim to have been abused, sexually or otherwise. When adults report that they have recovered memories of childhood abuse, others may claim that they have false memory syndrome. When children do not repress or forget the abuse, if there is no period of amnesia, then some may claim that they have parental alienation syndrome (Ceci & Bruck, 1995; Dallam, 1999).

~ Jenny Ann Ryberg

Jenny Ann Ryberg Child Abuse Child Sexual Abuse False Memory Syndrome False Memory Syndrome Foundation Patent Alienation Syndrome Trauma Memories

Dissociative Identity Disorder...is initially a useful coping response to an environment which is very difficult to endure. The problem is that dissociative responses-such as switching, blanking out, or going into a trance-become automatic, and, once the original abusive environment has been left behind, are of little use in life and may be detrimental.

~ Elizabeth Howell

Elizabeth Howell Child Abuse Dissociation Dissociative Identity Disorder

..[The] disclosure of the incest secret initiates a profound crisis for the family usually...the abuse has been going on for a number of years and has become an integral part of family life. Disclosure disrupts whatever fragile equilibrium has been maintained, jeopardizes the functioning of all family members, increases the likelihood of violent and desperate behavior, and places everyone, but particularly the daughter, at risk for retaliation.

~ Judith Lewis Herman

Judith Lewis Herman At Risk Youth Child Abuse Child Protection Child Protective Services Child Rape Child Sexual Abuse Crisis Dysfunctional Families Dysfunctional Family Family Secrets Incest Secrecy Sexual Abuse

For many people, the shock of sexual abuse pales before the shock of this mother’s statement, “I wish the fuck I never had her.” So thoroughly is motherhood sentimentalized that the mother who wishes to be rid of her child is considered a monster. In reality, women have always greeted the burden of motherhood ambivalently, even in the best of circumstances, and many women bear children involuntarily. But the approbrium which attaches to any woman who willing gives up her child is so great that some mothers will keep and mistreat their children rather than admit that they cannot care for them. Sometimes, the revelation of maternal neglect constitutes a plea for outside intervention, signaling the fact that a mother wants to be relieved of the duty to care for her child.

~ Judith Lewis Herman

Judith Lewis Herman Abusive Mother Abusive Parent Abusive Women Child Abuse Child Neglect Child Protection Child Protective Services Child Rape Child Sexual Abuse Incest Maternal Neglect

Behind the door was where bad things happen. No matter how many blankets I used or extra pairs of panties I wore. None of it mattered. The monster always came. His face obscured in the shadows, partially hidden behind the cloak rack. Hot breath breathing over my face as soon as I closed my eyes.

~ Hannah Baston

Hannah Baston Biography Child Abuse Child Abuse Memoir Non Fiction

Maternal absence, in one form or another, is always found in the background of the incest romance. Womens literature on incest generally treats the theme of maternal absence tragically. Mens literature trivializes it or treats it comically. And clinical literature tends to treat it judgmentally.

~ Judith Lewis Herman

Judith Lewis Herman Abusive Parents Child Abuse Child Rape Child Sexual Abuse Incest Maternal Neglect Parental Abuse Survivors

There are generally three parties to child abuse: the abused, the abuser and the bystander.

~ Louise Penny

Louise Penny Child Abuse

Beyond telling and getting away however there are an awful lot of myths out there about how to move on or get justice. People may tell you to report the crime or confront you abuser- or even to forgive him. I don't necessarily advocate any of these things. I think counseling of some kind can be enormously useful, but the bottom line is that the main way to heal is to find people who will support you, to talk about what happened, and to ground yourself in the reality that the abuse was not your fault, that you have nothing to be ashamed of, and that you deserve great love and happiness in your life.

~ Patti Feuereisen

Patti Feuereisen Child Abuse Child Sexual Abuse Sexual Abuse Survivors

You may experience waves of disbelief after each memory you retrieve. Whether as a phase or waves, the disbelief is usually accompanied by massive self-hate and guilt. ‘How can I even think such a thing? I must really be warped,’ you tell yourself.

~ Renee Fredrickson

Renee Fredrickson Child Abuse Child Abuse Survivor Child Sexual Abuse Disbelief Dissociated Dissociation Dissociative Amnesia Incest Recovered Memories Repressed Memories Self Doubt Trauma Memory

Sexual abuse of children now presents society with the ultimate crisis of patriarchy, when children refuse to protect their fathers by keeping secrets.

~ Beatrix Campbell

Beatrix Campbell Abusive Father Abusive Parent Child Abuse Child Sexual Abuse Family Secrets Incest Parerntal Abuse Patriarchy Sexual Abuse

It doesn't matter if you come from money or you are poor: If your family has already made you feel that you are not worthy, you begin to believe it, and when someone comes along and tells you that you are beautiful/special/wonderful and showers you with attention and gifts, or offers you money when you desperately need it, you are vulnerable and ready to trust

~ Patti Feuereisen

Patti Feuereisen Child Abuse Child Abusers Child Neglect Emotional Deprivation Grooming Survivor Vulnerability

As long as fathers rule but do not nurture, as long as mothers nurture but do not rule, the conditions favoring the development of father-daughter incest will prevail.

~ Judith Lewis Herman

Judith Lewis Herman Abusive Father Abusive Men Abusive Parent Child Abuse Child Sexual Abuse Incest Inequality Patriarchy Sexual Abuse Traditional Female Roles

This was a new buzz, better than anything I’d tried before. For the first time, I could fight back at others. I’d even fight with a parked car! I was totally kyboshed on these drugs, I didn’t care how many boys were standing outside the pub, I’d run over and fight the lot of them. Even though I came off second best, in my mind, I still walked away a winner. I showed them I wasn’t a little shit-bag that always got battered, not when I had the drugs in me.

~ Stephen Richards

Stephen Richards Child Abuse Childhood Abdrug Taking Jimmy Holland Scottish Child Care Scottish Prison System Stephen Richards Author True Crime

The rush I got from crime was better than that of glue, drink or hash. I loved playing cat and mouse with the local coppers. He Who Dares Wins, the SAS motto, was very applicable to my life then.

~ Stephen Richards

Stephen Richards Child Abuse Childhood Abuse Childhood Traumas Children S Care Home Abuse Jimmy Holland Overcoming Child Abuse Scottish Child Care Scottish Prison System Stephen Richards Author True Crime

Gazing out of the window, the gravel path roared as it was crushed into submission under the wheels of the car that was taking me towards a menacing looking medieval castle with two huge and terrifying turrets that seemingly reached out towards me. I imagined that I was the gravel and the wheels of the car were the social care system.

~ Stephen Richards

Stephen Richards Child Abuse Childhood Abuse Childhood Traumas Children S Care Home Abuse Jimmy Holland Overcoming Child Abuse Scottish Child Care Stephen Richards Author

If you could get anything at all off Santa, what would it be?’ I asked for a fire engine and sweets. Bunty exclaimed in delight, ‘Santa will get you that, but you and Scott will need to leave out a bowl of milk and some carrots for Rudolph.’ ‘Who’s Rudolph?’ I asked. Bunty told me in confidence that Rudolph was Santa’s reindeer and that he helped pull all the children’s toys in the world over the snow. I couldn’t wait. In readiness for Rudolph, Scott, Martha, Bunty and I picked out four of the biggest carrots from a bag in the kitchen, which we then washed. We found a big bowl that we used to lick the cream out of, which we filled with milk. We put the bowl along with the carrots under the Christmas tree, with all the other children’s offerings. Then Bunty and Martha came in and washed us, put us to bed and read us a story, before kissing us good night. On their way out they said, ‘When you wake up, Santa will have been'.

~ Stephen Richards

Stephen Richards Child Abuse Childhood Abuse Childhood Traumas Children S Care Home Abuse Overcoming Child Abuse Scottish Child Care

Leading up to Christmas, there was talk of Santa. But I’d never even heard of Santa. Bunty, one of the workers who I grew to love, tried to explain, ‘He brings little angels like you, presents.

~ Stephen Richards

Stephen Richards Child Abuse Childhood Abuse Childhood Traumas Children S Care Home Abuse Overcoming Child Abuse Scottish Child Care

I was becoming a product of society, a hardened juvenile! Now I was becoming rebellious and hateful.

~ Stephen Richards

Stephen Richards Catholic Child Abuse Child Abuse Child Abuse Deniers Child Abuse Survivor Child Abusers Child Sexual Abuse Survivor

When a man beats his boy, he wants a son who won't buck him. He's trying to make a coward. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, it works.And the hundredth boy?We can go either way. Kill the old man, or try to become a better one.

~ Mary Doria Russell

Mary Doria Russell Child Abuse Corporal Punishment

No matter what tight corner I was in, I was capable of getting myself out of it … not God!

~ Stephen Richards

Stephen Richards Catholic Child Abuse Child Abuse Child Abuse Deniers Child Abuse Survivor Child Abusers Child Sexual Abuse Survivor

Just as much as the media portray child sexual exploitation as being a 'hidden' crime, then that is no less of a case with child physical abuse.

~ Stephen Richards

Stephen Richards Catholic Child Abuse Child Abuse Child Abuse Deniers Child Abuse Survivor Child Abusers Child Sexual Abuse Survivor

A lot of attention has been given over to the Catholic Churches sexual abuse of children in their care, but this attention seems to have been hijacked by the media and has overshadowed the many thousands of victims that endured physical abuse.

~ Stephen Richards

Stephen Richards Catholic Child Abuse Child Abuse Child Abuse Deniers Child Abuse Survivor Child Abusers Child Sexual Abuse Survivor

You might think the Bangkok Hilton (the nickname of a fictional prison in Bangkok) was tough, well that was paradise compared to this place!

~ Stephen Richards

Stephen Richards Catholic Child Abuse Child Abuse Child Abuse Deniers Child Abuse Survivor Child Abusers Child Sexual Abuse Survivor

From a young boy’s viewpoint this could not get any worse, especially when you were told that you belonged to the devil, and this bullying of me went on for a long time.

~ Stephen Richards

Stephen Richards Catholic Child Abuse Child Abuse Child Abuse Deniers Child Abuse Survivor Child Abusers Child Sexual Abuse Survivor

I have beaten people into the ground and the more they cry the more of a beating I gave them. If they don’t cry, I come off, if they cry then I will beat them and beat them and beat them.

~ Stephen Richards

Stephen Richards Catholic Child Abuse Child Abuse Child Abuse Deniers Child Abuse Survivor Child Abusers Child Sexual Abuse Survivor

From spending ten years in hell and coming to this regime of kindness was a shock. It was so much of a shock, it was unbelievable. I was like an untamed animal, I couldn’t accept it and I just wouldn’t accept it.

~ Stephen Richards

Stephen Richards Catholic Child Abuse Child Abuse Child Abuse Deniers Child Abuse Survivor Child Abusers Child Sexual Abuse Survivor

I dived out of the office and I was gone … hitting these fields like a mad March hare. This wasn’t Born Free, it was RUN FREE!

~ Stephen Richards

Stephen Richards Catholic Child Abuse Child Abuse Child Abuse Deniers Child Abuse Survivor Child Abusers Child Sexual Abuse Survivor

All these do-gooders make it sound like you just have to repent and off you go to heaven, but what about all the atrocities the Catholic religion did to us? Who pays for that! They just took over our lives!!

~ Stephen Richards

Stephen Richards Catholic Child Abuse Child Abuse Child Abuse Deniers Child Abuse Survivor Child Abusers Child Sexual Abuse Survivor

Religion to me was only something to be used and abused, as it had done nothing for me other than give me pain. Religion for me was a method used to gain an extra bottle of wine or a nice meal.

~ Stephen Richards

Stephen Richards Catholic Child Abuse Child Abuse Child Abuse Deniers Child Abuse Survivor Child Abusers Child Sexual Abuse Survivor
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