Who are you and how did you get in here? I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.

~ Leslie Nielsen

Leslie Nielsen Comedy Funny Humor Locksmith

Believe me when I say: 'Out of all those around, she’s the best locksmith in town.' Her stethoscope ears know when the dials of your heart click into place.She’s been cutting keys for years.You don’t stand a chance with that flimsy case.Alas, no matter how you lock your heart— bolt, fixture, and key— she’s got nimble fingersthat pick locks for free.Padlocks and deadboltsare all in vain.Why do you even botherwith that chain?She’s way too smart. Along with ours, she’ll have your heart. And you will see that the best locksmith in town is she.

~ Kamand Kojouri

Kamand Kojouri Believe Bolt Boyfriend Case Chain Click Dial Ears Falling In Love Fingers Fixture Free Girlfriend Head Over Heels Heart Heartbreaker Kamand Kamand Kojouri Key Keys Kojouri Lock Locksmith Love Love Poem Loved Lover Loves Loving Nimble Pick Picks Poem Poetry Quote Relationship She Smart Stethoscope Town Vain

If you really think there's a Santa, why don't you sit on the front steps all night in the freezing cold and see if he climbs down any chimneys tonight. Good luck. And since we're a family that isn't lucky enough to have a chimney, how would Santa get into our house? Does he bring a locksmith with him? And it probably would have to be a Jewish locksmith, because a Christian locksmith is going to want to be home with his family. And how many Jewish locksmiths are there? None.

~ Lewis Black

Lewis Black Christian Jewish Locksmith Santa