Merry Quotes

I'm not much of a drinker. It only takes me one drink to get drunk . . . my fourth.

~ Wendy Morgan

It was a woman who drove me to drink - and you know I never even thanked her.

~ W. C. Fields

Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

~ W. C. Fields

There is nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.

~ John Ciardi

I started smoking to lose weight. After I dropped that lung I felt pretty good.

~ Michael Meehan

You can tell German wine from vinegar ... by the label.

~ Mark Twain

Let's toast a real wine expert - someone who knows a good rose goes best with bologna sandwiches.

~ Elmer Pasta

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.

~ Mark Twain

I've noticed the customers in health food stores. They are pale skinny people who usually look half dead. In a steak house you see robust ruddy people. They're dying of course but they look terrific.

~ Bill Cosby

I'm a one-drink woman two at the most three I'm under the table four I'm under the host.

~ Anonymous

Is life worth living? That depends on the liver.

~ Anonymous

I've never been drunk but often I've been overserved.

~ George Gobel