Bill Cosby Quotes

A sail boat that sails backwards can never see the sun rise.

~ Bill Cosby

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.

~ Bill Cosby

The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now.

~ Bill Cosby

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

~ Bill Cosby

The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.

~ Bill Cosby

And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl...there's a little voice that say, 'I wonder where he would go...'...if it hadn't been for his head...

~ Bill Cosby

Parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.

~ Bill Cosby

I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty,” I told her.Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: “It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring.

~ Bill Cosby

That's why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping.

~ Bill Cosby

I'm not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it, I don't know when I lost it, I don't really think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job...and I don't want it!

~ Bill Cosby

Old is always fifteen years from now.

~ Bill Cosby

Gray hair is God's graffiti.

~ Bill Cosby

I've noticed the customers in health food stores. They are pale skinny people who usually look half dead. In a steak house you see robust ruddy people. They're dying of course but they look terrific.

~ Bill Cosby

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

~ Bill Cosby

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.

~ Bill Cosby

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.

~ Bill Cosby

Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, 'If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn't have any material.' He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge.

~ Bill Cosby

George Carlin is brilliant with words, and Johnny Winters is very creative. It's taking something common and drawing out the humor, being clever with words.

~ Bill Cosby

Now, Richard Pryor was unique. Many misunderstood his humor. He lit up the hallway, but they didn't understand his use of profanity. He didn't use it just to be using it; he used it in the context of his satire.

~ Bill Cosby

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

~ Bill Cosby

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

~ Bill Cosby

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.

~ Bill Cosby

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.

~ Bill Cosby

With my wife Camille's help, I took to social networking. I'm working with the computers.

~ Bill Cosby

When I was a child, I was living in the housing projects of Philadelphia. I didn't even have a Christmas tree.

~ Bill Cosby

When I decided that I wanted to go to college, I wanted to be a school teacher for 7th and 8th grade boys because I felt that was an important time for them. I had gone astray at that point in my life and really wanted to help keep them from making the same mistake I had made.

~ Bill Cosby

I think 'I Spy,' still when you look at it, speaks volumes in terms of propaganda for equality. It's just magnificent.

~ Bill Cosby

The first-born in every family is always dreaming for an imaginary older brother or sister who will look out for them.

~ Bill Cosby

Learning to read clusters is not something your eyes do naturally. It takes constant practice.

~ Bill Cosby

Tons of comedians have said, 'I grew up learning from Bill Cosby. He's great.' But that respect doesn't mean much to the young people. They like their ginger ale with hot sauce.

~ Bill Cosby

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.

~ Bill Cosby

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.

~ Bill Cosby

If you have no faith, you've lost your battle.

~ Bill Cosby

The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.

~ Bill Cosby

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

~ Bill Cosby

I never saw anything funny in a car commercial - but that's OK. Whatever they wanted to do - it's their product and I'm the spokesperson, and I'm going to deliver.

~ Bill Cosby

Every success story has a parent who says, 'over my dead body.' Every success story has an old person who walks up to you and says, when you're acting the fool, 'you know I worry about you sometimes.'

~ Bill Cosby

The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.

~ Bill Cosby