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Toilet Quotes

Toilet quote from classy quote

Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've – you've blown up a toilet or –Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet.Great idea though, thanks, Mum.

~ J.k. Rowling

J.k. Rowling Fred Weasley George Weasley Humor Molly Weasley Toilet

God's everywhere.So remember when you go to the toilet not to laugh.

~ Anthony T.hincks

Anthony T.hincks Everywhere Go To The Toilet God Laugh Life Philosophy Religion Toilet

When the shit hits the fan, you really have to ask yourself why you weren't sitting on the toilet.

~ Anthony T. Hincks

Anthony T. Hincks Ask Fan Hits Life Philosophy Shit The Fan Toilet Trouble Weren T

Some of my best ideas come from when I'm sitting on the toilet.

~ Anthony T Hincks

Anthony T Hincks Best Bog Come Ideas Life Philosophy Sitting Think Thinking Toilet Wc

One of the main functions of a push-up bra is to lower the number of mothers who seem like mothers.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Mokokoma Mokhonoana Abort Abortion Adage Adages Adopt Adoption Aphorism Aphorisms Axiom Axioms Birth Birthday Body Body Shame Boob Boobs Bra Breast Breast Feed Breast Feeding Breasts Deep Diaper Diapers Dictum Dictums Drawers Epigram Epigrams Female Females Foreplay Function Functions G String G Strings Girl Girls Gnome Gnomes Humor Humour Impression Insightful Lingerie Made Me Think Make You Think Maxim Maxims Mother Motherhood Mothers Nappies Nappy Newborn Newborns Panties Panty Parent Parenthood Parents Potties Potty Potty Training Pregnancy Pregnancy Test Pregnancy Tests Pregnant Profound Proverb Proverbs Provoke Thought Push Up Push Up Bra Push Up Bras Quotation Quotations Quote Quotes Role Roles Satire Satirical Saying Sayings Sex Sexiness Sexy Silver Stripe Silver Stripes Skivvies Stretch Mark Stretch Marks Strip Stripper Strippers Stripping The Pill Thought Provoking Thoughtful Toilet Toilet Training Toilets Underclothes Undergarment Undergarments Underthings Underwear Undies Woman Women

There probably was a time when the idea of having a toilet inside a house was repulsive.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Mokokoma Mokhonoana Aphorism Aphorisms Aphorist Aphorists Comfort Station Convention Culture Custom Disgust Disgusting Funny Hilarious House Houses Housing Humor Humorous Humour Idea Ideas Innovate Innovation Invent Invention Joke Jokes Lavatory Loo Powder Room Repulsive Restroom Satire Shelter Shelters Toilet Toilets Tradition Urinal Washroom

Passing their toilet training is the very last thing that some adults did that has made their parents proud of them.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Mokokoma Mokhonoana Aphorism Aphorisms Aphorist Aphorists Ashamed Child Children Comfort Station Embarrass Embarrassed Funny Hilarious Humor Humorous Humour Joke Jokes Lavatory Loo Parent Parenthood Parents Pass Potty Training Powder Room Pride Proud Restroom Satire Shame Toilet Toilet Training Toilets Urinal Washroom

Most people would rather eat inside a windowless room in which they have just defecated than eat inside one in which someone else has just farted, even if the room does not have a toilet.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Mokokoma Mokhonoana Aphorism Aphorisms Aphorist Aphorists Comfort Station Defecate Defecation Faeces Fart Farted Farts Feces Funny Hilarious Humor Humorous Humour Joke Jokes Lavatory Loo Narcissism Powder Room Restroom Satire Shit Toilet Toilets Urinal Vanity Washroom

For breakfast to be called ‘in bed’ instead of ‘on top of a bed,’ the house in which it is about to be eaten has to have at least two rooms (excluding the kitchen); (at least) three, if it has a bathroom.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Mokokoma Mokhonoana Anniversary Ate B B Bathroom Bathrooms Bed And Breakfast Breakfast Breakfast In Bed Breakfasted Breakfasts Chase Court Courtship Eat Eaten Food Hit On Hitting On House Houses Kitchen Kitchens Marriage Marriages Meal Meals Morning Nutrition Poor Poverty Pursue Restroom Restrooms Romance Romantic Room Rooms Toilet Toilets Wedding Weddings Woo

Nothing reminds one of how shitty inequality is more often than the fact that there are companies who make and people who use 1-ply toilet papers.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Mokokoma Mokhonoana Comfort Defecation Diarrhea Digestion Equality Inequality Ingestion Money Poor Poverty Shit Shitty Suffer Suffering Toilet Toilet Paper Toilet Roll Unpleasant

I was also sick of my neighbors, as most Parisians are. I now knew every second of the morning routine of the family upstairs. At 7:00 am alarm goes off, boom, Madame gets out of bed, puts on her deep-sea divers’ boots, and stomps across my ceiling to megaphone the kids awake. The kids drop bags of cannonballs onto the floor, then, apparently dragging several sledgehammers each, stampede into the kitchen. They grab their chunks of baguette and go and sit in front of the TV, which is always showing a cartoon about people who do nothing but scream at each other and explode. Every minute, one of the kids cartwheels (while bouncing cannonballs) back into the kitchen for seconds, then returns (bringing with it a family of excitable kangaroos) to the TV. Meanwhile the toilet is flushed, on average, fifty times per drop of urine expelled. Finally, there is a ten-minute period of intensive yelling, and at 8:15 on the dot they all howl and crash their way out of the apartment to school.” (p.137)

~ Stephen Clarke

Stephen Clarke Baguette Bed Cannonball Cartoon Cartwheel Ceiling Deep Sea Divers Boots Family Floor Kangaroo Kids Kitchen Madame Megaphone Morning Neighbors Parisians Routine School Sledgehammers Stampede Toilet Tv Urine Yelling

The reason why women think men should spend a lot of money on an engagement ring is because women are the ones who get to clean up all the poop (stains and toilet bowl swirls included) that is provided by every family member living in the house until they die.

~ Heather Chapple

Heather Chapple Engagement Engagement Ring Family Marriage Money Mother Poop Responsibilities Ring Toilet Wedding Wife

Seeing his daughter slowly die, coupled with his infinite sadness and misery, the clockmaker becomes a recluse to the tower of the castle and begins to build something behind closed doors, not even his daughter knows what he’s up to. For five years, she only sees him briefly at meal-times before locking himself up in the tower once again......Did he have a bathroom in the tower?Yes, Jack. A big one! En-suite! Power-shower and spa! Where was I!?

~ Jonathan Dunne

Jonathan Dunne Bathroom Behind Closed Doors Bereavment Castle Clock Clockmaker Death Funny Grief Hilarious Loss Mourn Mourning Potty Potty Time Power Recluse Sarcasm Shower Spa Toilet Weird

And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl...there's a little voice that say, 'I wonder where he would go...'...if it hadn't been for his head...

~ Bill Cosby

Bill Cosby Brother Humor Thinking Toilet

I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people’s faeces more disgusting than a bird’s droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Mokokoma Mokhonoana Animal Bathroom Bird Disgust Disgusting Droppings Excrement Faeces Feces Food Nutrition Shit Size Size Counts Size Does Count Size Does Matter Size Does Not Count Size Does Not Matter Size Doesnt Count Size Doesnt Matter Size Matters Sustenance Toilet Toilets

The human body is designed in accordance with the laws of nature.The British left behind their potty which goes against these laws.It induces constipation, causes fecal stagnation, enlarges the prostate, leads to infection and weakens the muscles of the lower body.

~ Tapan Ghosh

Tapan Ghosh Health Healthcare Prostate Toilet

I rushed to the bathroom for every corner of the hospital was suffocating. I got hold of acid-bottle, which was meant for toilet cleaning. As I took it into my hands, I realized I had more filth inside me than a toilet. A toilet could be cleaned by an acid bottle, or a toilet cleaner, but there was no such product that could cleanse a criminal from inside. I felt so ashamed of myself that I couldn’t even look into the eyes of my reflection in the mirror on the wall.

~ Mehek Bassi

Mehek Bassi Acid Crime Criminal Dirt Fear Filth Guilt Mistake Toilet

There are few moments of clarity more profound than those that follow the emptying of an overcharged bladder. The world slows down, the focus sharpens, the brain comes back on line. Huge nebulous difficulties prove on close calm examination to be merely cloud giants.

~ Tom Holt

Tom Holt Bladder Brain Clarity Pee Problems Toilet

Social networks are so full of wasted time - they could be compared to a waste disposal system. Flush, before you go and waste no time to go.

~ Will Advise

Will Advise Compared Comparison Disposal Flushing Nothing Social Social Media Socially Acceptable System Systems Time Toilet Waste Wasted Wasting

The flush toilet, more than any single invention, has 'civilized' us in a way that religion and law could never accomplish.

~ Thomas Lynch

Thomas Lynch Civilization Civilized Toilet

The trail of lime trees outside our building is still a public loo. …where else are they supposed to go to the toilet in a city where public toilets are about as common as UFO sightings?” (pp.281-82)

~ Sarah Turnbull

Sarah Turnbull Building City Lime Loo Public Toilet Trail Trees Ufo

If you can market smut and toilet paper, you can market movies.

~ Dawn Steel

Dawn Steel You Toilet Paper
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