Jokes Quotes

Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions.

~ Criss Jami

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A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

~ Friedrich Nietzsche

I've said it before and I'll say it again, my lord. You are an evil man.

~ Tamora Pierce

The gods too are fond of a joke.

~ Aristotle

Belief is a wonderful way to pass the time until the facts come in.

~ Carl R White

Carl R White Aetheism Agnostic Agnostic Atheism Agnostic Quotes Agnostic Theism Agnosticism Agnostics Allah Almighty Angels Arguments Atheism Atheism Quotes Atheist Atheist Argument Atheist Arguments Atheist Quotes Atheists Avatar Belief Belief In God Belief In Humanity Believe In God Believers Believers In God Believing Believing In God Blind Faith Brain Brainwashed Brainwashed Religion Brainwashed Society Brainwashing Brainwashing Brainwashing Quotes Brainy Quotes Celestial Being Christianity Church Consciousness Conviction Conviction Quotes Convictions Creator Critical Consciousness Critical Thinking Critical Thought Cults Cults Of Personality Cynical Cynical Humor Cynical Quotes Cynically Honest Debate Debates Debates About Religion Deep Thinker Deep Thinkers Deep Thinking Deep Thoughts Deity Deity Of Christ Determinism Discourse Discussion Divine Divine Being Divinity Doubt Doubts Doubts About Religion Doubts Quotes Evolution Evolution Of Consciousness Evolution Vs Creation Evolution Vs Creationism Evolution Vs Religion Evolve Expand Your Mind Expanding Evolving Consciousness Expression Facts Facts And Ideas Facts And Information Facts And Truths Facts Of Life Facts Of The Matter Facts Quotes Facts To Live By Facts Wisdom Facts You Dont Want To Know Factual Factuality Faith Faith In God Faith Quotations Faith Quotes Free Will Free Will Quotes Freedom Freedom Of Opinion Freedom Of The Press Freedom Of Thought God Great Minds Great Philosophers Great Quotes Great Quotes Of The 21St Century Great Thinker Great Thinkers Great Thinkers Of Our Times Greatness Heathen Heathens Heaven Heaven And Hell Heaven On Earth Heaven Quotes Hell On Earth Hell Quotes Helping Others Hobbies Human Beings Humans Humor Humor And Belief Humor And Religion Humor Quotes Humorous Quotations Humorous Quotes Ideas Ideas Quotes Idiotic Idiotic People Idiots Idiots In Life Idol Immortal Info Informational Inspiration Inspirational Intellect Intellectual Intellectual Quotes Intellectualism Intellectuals Intelligence Intelligence Quote Intelligent Men Intelligent People Jokes Jokes About Religion Law Laws Laws Of Life Legal Legal Quotes Life Quotes Life Quotes And Sayings Living Living Life Lord Loving Life Monotheistic Religions Moral Authority Moral Law Moral Philosophy Moral Quotes Morality Morality Quotes Morality Without Religion Morals Motivational Quotes Need Need To Be True Need To Know Needs Nihilism Nihilism Quotes Nihilist Nihilist Quotes Nihilistic Non Believer Non Believers Non Believing Opinion Opinions Opinions About Religion Opinions Of People Opinions On Religion Opinions Quotes Original Sin Pass The Time Passing Time Peasants People That Think Pessimism Pessimism Quotes Pessimist Pessimistic Philosopher Philosophical Philosophy Philosophy Of Life Philosophy Of Religion Philosophy Quotes Popular Belief Pragmatic Pragmatism Press Psychology Quotes Quotes About Belief Quotes About Faith Quotes About Life Quotes About Religion Quotes About Time Quotes By Great Minds Quotes On Life Quotes On Religion Quotes To Live By Reading Reality Reliance Religion Religion And Philosophy Religion And Science Religions Religious Religious Beliefs Religious Discussions Religious Diversity Religious Extremism Religious Faith Religious Humor Religious Tolerance Rubes Sarcasm Satan Savior Savior Quotes Saviors Science Science Vs Religion Silly Beliefs Skeptic Skeptical Skepticism Skepticism And Religion Skepticism Of Religion Skeptics Smart People Smart Quotes Spirit Spirituality Stupid People Stupidity Stupidity Of Man Stupidity Of Religion Superhuman Being Supreme Being The Almighty The Creator The Godhead The Lord The Maker Theologians Theology Theology Quotes Things To Do Things To Live By Thinker Thinkers Thinkers Of Our Time Thinking Thinking Quotations Thinking Quotes Time Truism Trust Truth Truth Of Life Truth Quotes Truths About God Truths About Life Truths Of Life Values Values In Life Viewpoint Want To Be True Wisdom Wisdom Quotations Wisdom Quotes Wonder Wonderful Wonders World Religions Worship Worship God Worship Of God Worshipping Worshipping God

Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.

~ Amy Sedaris

Many obese people spend a significant amount of their energy on suppressing the urge to tell some of the people who are staring at them that they do not eat as much and as frequently as they seem to.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

You are more likely to find three TVs inside a randomly selected house than you are to find a single book that is or was not read to pass an exam, to please God, or to be a better cook.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

One of the most common and most dangerous misbeliefs is that it is impossible for someone to be stupid just because they are a doctor or a lawyer.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

In this storyI am the poetYou're the poetry.

~ Arzum Uzun

It sometimes seemed to him that for love to work, it had to be fair, that he should tell only half the joke, and she the other half. Otherwise, it would not be love, but something completely else–pity or entertainment, or stand-up comedy.

~ Tao Lin

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.

~ Dave Barry

What do you suppose is the use of a child without any meaning? Even a joke should have some meaning-- and a child's more imporant than a joke, I hope. You couldn't deny that, even if you tried with both hands.

~ Lewis Carroll

Looking but not seeing is the hearing but not understanding of the eye.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Your wife is a big hippo! My face is melting! My face is meltinnnnggg!

~ Terry Pratchett

It is still cheating, even if nobody comes.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

I don’t give sick days if you’re playing in the snow.” He’s being funny, or trying to be funny. I can never tell which.

~ Zoe Cruz

There are always messages, even enigmas to be searched, mysteries to be solved in all of my books. I like to puzzle readers, but I do not make so to the point of being so complex that they will lose interest in the plot. And that for me is the essence of every great literature around the world, and that’s been so for ages.(....)Some were inpired by real life characters, some other books I wrote are hybrid fiction/non-fiction, so I pretty much get inspired by people who have lived, and even who are still breathing among us… so don’t get discouraged if I didn’t mention your personality traits yet. I might even have your name over my books, I must some day…

~ Ana Claudia Antunes

Most people do not mind having a house that is smaller and/or a car that is cheaper than their neighbours’, as long as they each earn and have more money than their neighbours, and, equally important, their neighbours know that.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

We have glorified wealth and freedom so much that it is impossible for most of us to truly believe that a man can truly be happy in a shack or within the confines of a prison cell.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Wealth seldom fails to breed the fear of poverty.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Even those who want to go to heaven would rather kill than be killed.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

We love being mentally strong, but we hate situations that allow us to put our mental strength to good use.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

If you are having private thoughts and ask an intimate friend to listen to them in privacy or on a date will that be considered too intimi-dating? And if the thoughts are proved to be untrue, but your friend still insists on believing in them anyway, would that be considered a cons-piracy?

~ Ana Claudia Antunes

I feel strongly that Christians have a scriptural mandate to love and care for all the people of the world. Even those who are living in immoral circumstances are entitled to be treated with dignity and respect. There is no place for hatred, hurtful jokes, or other forms of rejecting towards those who are gay.

~ James C. Dobson

What's so unpleasant about being drunk?Ask a glass of water!

~ Douglas Adams

...the primary paradox that man is superior to all the things around him and yet is at their mercy.

~ G.k. Chesterton

it will be generally found that the popular joke is not true to the letter, but is true to the spirit. The joke is generally in the oddest way the truth and yet not the fact.

~ G.k. Chesterton

If u want to work in Corporate, then u should know how to play Chess.

~ Honeya

...Andrew Feldman put £2,000 behind the bar, and [David] Cameron told a joke about a farmer inviting a new neighbour to come to his house for a party where there might be dancing, drinking and ‘rough sex’. When the neighbour asks what to wear, the farmer says, ‘It doesn’t matter, it’s only going to be you and me.

~ Tim Shipman

The average adult hates being treated like a child, unless it suits them.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

We would not be ashamed of doing some of the things we do in private, if the number of sane human beings who do them in public were large enough.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

We seldom look up to the person, we usually look up to their persona.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Unrequited love is a billion times less intolerable than unrequited hate.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels like it.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Some men would not still be HIV negative or alive, if they had managed to sleep with some of the women with whom they want or wanted to have sex.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Death would not surprise us as often as it does, if we let go of the misbelief that newborns are less mortal than the elderly.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

He with the cleanest clothes isn’t necessarily the cleanest.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Because he has finally realized that it is it and not him that is loved by the woman he loves, many a man is jealous of his own car, house, wardrobe, or salary.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

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