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Puns Quotes

Puns quote from classy quote

Puns are the highest form of literature.

~ Alfred Hitchcock

Alfred Hitchcock Funny Humor Literature Puns

But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with useless gold ornamentation on it. Sam Vimes felt like a class traitor every time he wore it. He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association.

~ Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett Funny Humor Politics Puns

It is still cheating, even if nobody comes.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Mokokoma Mokhonoana A Bit On The Side A Play On Words Abstruse Adultery Affair Ambiguity Ambiguous Ambivalent Amour Aphorism Aphorisms Aphorist Aphorists Arguable Be Unfaithful Came Carrying On Catch Catch Read Handed Caught Caught Red Handed Cheat Cheater Cheaters Come Coming Commit Adultery Cuckoldry Debatable Disloyalty Doubtful Dubious Equivocal Extramarital Extramarital Sex Falseness Fling Fool Around Fooling Around Funny Hanky Panky Hilarious Humor Humorous Humour Imprecise Infidelity Joke Jokes Language Liaison Obscure Open To Argument Open To Debate Orgasm Orgasms Play Around Play On Words Playing Around Pun Puns Red Handed Satire Secret Semen Sex Sexual Intercourse Sperm Spermatozoa Spermatozoon Sperms Stray Two Time Two Timing Uncertain Unclear Unfaithful Unfaithfulness Vague Walk On Walked On

There are always messages, even enigmas to be searched, mysteries to be solved in all of my books. I like to puzzle readers, but I do not make so to the point of being so complex that they will lose interest in the plot. And that for me is the essence of every great literature around the world, and that’s been so for ages.(....)Some were inpired by real life characters, some other books I wrote are hybrid fiction/non-fiction, so I pretty much get inspired by people who have lived, and even who are still breathing among us… so don’t get discouraged if I didn’t mention your personality traits yet. I might even have your name over my books, I must some day…

~ Ana Claudia Antunes

Ana Claudia Antunes Accounts Characters Chronicles Creative Process Creative Writing Enigmas Fictional Characters Funny Habits Hybrid Imagination Inspiration Jokes Life Mix Mysteries Of Life Mystery Novels Odd Oddity One Hundred One People People Relations Puns Real Character Real Life Drama Real People Reality Short Stories Tales Tips Traits Writing Writing Tips

In Science don't confound Normal static electricity To ecstatic eccentricity. Here is what I found: Electric charges As they rise up your hair In contrast with a discharge, Rarity leaves you up in the air!

~ Ana Claudia Antunes

Ana Claudia Antunes Acrostics Eccentric Eccentricity Electric Electric Charge Electrical Electricity Electromagnetic Energy Funny Quotes Hair In The Air Joke Puns Rarity Science Scientific Discovery Studies

If you are having private thoughts and ask an intimate friend to listen to them in privacy or on a date will that be considered too intimi-dating? And if the thoughts are proved to be untrue, but your friend still insists on believing in them anyway, would that be considered a cons-piracy?

~ Ana Claudia Antunes

Ana Claudia Antunes Accounts Acting Togethher Agreement Ally Confident Confining Conspiracy Conversation Converting Dating Deceives Friendship Intimate Conversation Intimidate Intimidating Joining Jokes Lies Mischief Meeting Mysteries Mysterious Partner Piracy Play On Words Private Private Eye Private Thoughts Privately Puns Secrecies Secrecy Secret Secretive Secrets Stories Tales Of The City Tell Telling Stories Thinking Thoughts True Accounts Untrue Urban Life Whispers

Anyway, my writer gang: they kind of did their comedy apprenticeship with me and, during that period, when they were young and impressionable, I think I infected them with my pun virus. They grew to enjoy puns, think puns, just as much as me. The problem is people don't really like puns any more, so I worry I've rendered the poor fuckers virtually unemployable.

~ Frank Skinner

Frank Skinner Comedy Humour Puns

Over the years, I have been subjected to many indignities, all for the sake of Art. If I ever catch him, I'm going to kill the guy.

~ Bob Hope

Bob Hope Art Film Hollywood Humour Puns

Had a cold hummus with pita bread, Under a delicious food, yellow or red. Might just have the appetite to cook Urgent dinner by hook or crook.So that's just a humus humor spread.

~ Ana Claudia Antunes

Ana Claudia Antunes Across Acrostic Bread Dinner Food Hummus Humor Humorous Humour Humour Quote Humourous Situations Humus Jokes Limerick Pita Poems Poetry Puns Spreading Words

If You Get Accidentally Locked, In the loo - Would you ‪#‎KnockYourSelfOut‬?

~ Nikhil Sharda

Nikhil Sharda Accidents Humour Puns

Beware of affect adorning vêtement of effect.

~ Steven Wood Collins

Steven Wood Collins Politics Puns

There is never a bad time for a pun. There’s also never really a good time for a pun. You might as well just stay braced for a pun at all times, and ride them when they come with as much grace as you can manage.The fact that you can replace ‘pun’ with ‘disaster’ in the last three rules says a lot about the human race.

~ Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett Humanity Puns

Wit and puns aren't just decor in the mind; they're essential signs that the mind knows it's on, recognizes its own software, can spot the bugs in its own program.

~ Adam Gopnik

Adam Gopnik Brain Humor Mind Puns Self Awareness Speaking Thinking Wit

If I send all the books that I faithfully wrote overseas, would that, for any chance, be considered work-shipping??

~ Ana Claudia Antunes

Ana Claudia Antunes Books Overseas Publishing Puns Sales Selling Shipping Work Workship World Writing Books

Mr. Pettifor, I’ve brought you lunch, Sir.” “Leave it on my desk,” he grouses. “It’s your favorite, Sir, a Reuben with au jus,” I say softly.

~ Ella Dominguez

Ella Dominguez Food Puns Sex

Fuck, Christina.”“Yes, fuck Christina. I think she'd like that.

~ Nenia Campbell

Nenia Campbell Fuck Fucking Funny Humor Puns Sex Sexuality Wit

A dessert to a deserter in the desert burst, You trust your thirst. And you are too hot! You scream for ice cream. And believe it or not, I may not be your first. But I might be your lust! Give it a shot...

~ Ana Claudia Antunes

Ana Claudia Antunes Book Comic Desert Desert Survival Entertaining Events Excentric Fast Flash Fiction Fun Funny Humor Ice Cream Lines Literature Mirage Odd One Hundred One People Poems Poetical Puns Stories Storytelling Survival Story Tales Thirsty True Accounts True Stories Word Count Words

Rules for navigating the net, Or people will roll their eye Lest you can't roll the R rect: Literally, don´t dink and dive!

~ Ana Claudia Antunes

Ana Claudia Antunes Acrostic Connection Internet Jokes Keyboard Letter Mispronounce Mistakes Navigate Navigating Net Netiquette Network Puns Roll Rules Rules Of Netiquette Search Skiping Speech Spelling Errors Typing Web Words World Wide Web Writing

What did the mat say to the door? You must be really aDOORable to open up to everyone who knock at you. And I welcome everyone and what do I get? People stepping all over me

~ Ana Claudia Antunes

Ana Claudia Antunes Door Fables Funny Funny Quotes Joke Literal Meaning Mat One Hundred One Open Doors Puns Stories Urban Welcoming Word Count Words

People ask me where I got my x-ray powers. I inherited them from my parents in parental supervision. Erase the dots and your doubts if you think that I was 'raysed' alone.

~ Ana Claudia Antunes

Ana Claudia Antunes Autobiographical Autobiography Childhood Childhood Memories Enlightment Figurative Homographic Homophonic Humorous Paranormal Play On Words Pun Puns Raised Rethorical Super Powers Supernatural Supervision Telepathy Third Eye Wordplay X Ray X Ray Vision

Goodreads.com is actually about fiction not dreading goo. But I have a profile there, anyway...

~ Michael A. Arnzen

Michael A. Arnzen Horror Puns Tweet Twitter Quotes

Jasper set an intercepting course towards that Rhylonian Star Duster. Maybe we can catch them on their blind side.”“Doesn’t this ship have a cloak?” Jaq asks.“Miss Synergy, I don’t know what they teach now a’days at the Academy, but ships do not wear clothes.

~ Nathan Reese Maher

Nathan Reese Maher Cadet Cargo Casey Norider Castles Cloaking Device Comedy Eye Rolling Fairy Horses Jaq Synergy Jokes Klaus Nomi Laughs Munchkins Puns Science Fiction Sheep Space Travel Space Western Spaceship Witch Woman

I had a dream about you last night... we tried to joke but neither could make any sense. We realized that puns are present in every language, though not shared by any of them.

~ Marshall Ramsay

Marshall Ramsay Dreaming Dreams Humor Jokes Language Nonsense Puns

Let us revenge this withour pikes, ere we become rakes: for the gods know Ispeak this in hunger for bread, not in thirst for revenge.

~ William Shakespeare

William Shakespeare Anger Empower Puns Revenge Shakespeare

An apple a day feeds the tapeworm to stay.

~ Brian Spellman

Brian Spellman Health Humor Illness Paraprosdokian Puns

Jasper!” Casey shouts, startling the young woman. “My cargo is talking to me!

~ Nathan Reese Maher

Nathan Reese Maher Cadet Cargo Casey Norider Castles Comedy Eye Rolling Fairy Horses Jaq Synergy Jokes Klaus Nomi Laughs Munchkins Puns Sheep Space Travel Space Western Spaceship Witch Woman

She points to where he went and looks to the neutral Baumen. “He—he did that to me on purpose! He’s insane. Literally, insane!”The munchkin just shrugs. “Welcome aboard!” and returns unconcerned to his work.

~ Nathan Reese Maher

Nathan Reese Maher Cadet Cargo Casey Norider Castles Comedy Eye Rolling Fairy Horses Jaq Synergy Jokes Klaus Nomi Laughs Munchkins Puns Sheep Space Travel Space Western Spaceship Witch Woman

I overreacted to praise, signing an autograph. I'd write a check to buy it back.

~ Brian Spellman

Brian Spellman Arrogance Conceit Humility Paraprosdokian Puns

They talk about human rights until the rights include things they personally do not like as alternatives. There needs to be Frank discussions. And Shirley can join too because the pun works. The ideas of human beings of all demeanor and venues are at stake here.

~ Leviak B. Kelly

Leviak B. Kelly Human Rights Ideas Puns

Okay, you won our shitty little argument. Pass the world.

~ Brian Spellman

Brian Spellman Double Entendre Puns Satire

The first casualty of war is casual wear.

~ Brian Spellman

Brian Spellman Fashion Lampoon Parody Puns Satire War

It's unpleasantly like being drunk. What's so unpleasant about being drunk? You ask a glass of water.

~ Douglas Adams

Douglas Adams Joke Puns Water

Skinny jeans were only good if you had skinny genes.

~ Matt Dunn

Matt Dunn Fashion Genes Humour Jeans Lol Puns Skinny

Khione’s eyes flared pure white. For once, she seemed at a loss for words. She stormed back up the stairs—literally. Halfway up, she turned into a blizzard and disappeared.

~ Rick Riordan

Rick Riordan Puns Storm The Lost Hero Winter

A so-called antimony war had been waged between French [Galenist] physicians and [alchemical, Paracelsian] iatrochemists since the beginning of the seventeenth century. What it lacked in bloodletting, this war made up for in bile.

~ Philip Ball

Philip Ball 17Th Century 2006 Antimony Doctors Medicine Paracelsus Puns

If I had to pick another career, I'd be an optometrist for potatoes. That's where the money is.

~ Peter Wisan

Peter Wisan Funny Quotes Puns

Also not the kind of place to hide a server.Is that another pun? She asked.No! I swear! I didn't mean that one.~Shell Game, Kingdom Keepers #5

~ Ridley Pearson

Ridley Pearson Bad Humor Puns

Impersonating a quiet, gentle librarian like Barbara Gordon--You deserve to be taken out of circulation!

~ Karl Kesel

Karl Kesel Batgirl Funny Librarians Libraries One Liners Puns

Puns are a form of humor with words.

~ Guillermo Cabrera Infante

Guillermo Cabrera Infante Words Puns Form
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