Douglas Adams Quotes

There's always a moment when you start to fall out of love, whether it's with a person or an idea or a cause, even if it's one you only narrate to yourself years after the event: a tiny thing, a wrong word, a false note, which means that things can never be quite the same again.

~ Douglas Adams

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

~ Douglas Adams

A learning experience is one of those things that says, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.

~ Douglas Adams

This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer. 'I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

~ Douglas Adams

We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works.

~ Douglas Adams

All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others.

~ Douglas Adams

We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!

~ Douglas Adams

Life... is like a grapefruit. Well, it's sort of orangey-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have half a one for breakfast.

~ Douglas Adams

Exactly! said Deep Thought. So once you do know what the question actually is, you'll know what the answer means.

~ Douglas Adams

He stood up straight and looked the world squarely in the fields and hills. To add weight to his words he stuck the rabbit bone in his hair. He spread his arm out wide. I will go mad! he annouced.

~ Douglas Adams

Life is wasted on the living.

~ Douglas Adams

Can't stand all these poisonous creatures, all these snakes and insects and fish and things. Wretched things, biting everybody. And then people expect me to tell them what to do about it. I'll tell them what to do. Don't get bitten in the first place. (quoting Dr. Struan Sutherland)

~ Douglas Adams

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

~ Douglas Adams

The story so far:In the beginning the Universe was created.This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

~ Douglas Adams

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

~ Douglas Adams

The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.

~ Douglas Adams

Don't Panic.

~ Douglas Adams

Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?

~ Douglas Adams

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

~ Douglas Adams

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

~ Douglas Adams

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.

~ Douglas Adams

A towel, [The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy] says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

~ Douglas Adams

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat.

~ Douglas Adams

It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, 'As pretty as an airport.

~ Douglas Adams

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.

~ Douglas Adams

I don't accept the currently fashionable assertion that any view is automatically as worthy of respect as any equal and opposite view. My view is that the moon is made of rock. If someone says to me 'Well, you haven't been there, have you? You haven't seen it for yourself, so my view that it is made of Norwegian Beaver Cheese is equally valid' - then I can't even be bothered to argue. There is such a thing as the burden of proof, and in the case of god, as in the case of the composition of the moon, this has shifted radically. God used to be the best explanation we'd got, and we've now got vastly better ones. God is no longer an explanation of anything, but has instead become something that would itself need an insurmountable amount of explaining. So I don't think that being convinced that there is no god is as irrational or arrogant a point of view as belief that there is. I don't think the matter calls for even-handedness at all.

~ Douglas Adams

What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.

~ Douglas Adams

My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre and that I am therefore excused from saving universes.

~ Douglas Adams

If I ever meet myself,' said Zaphod, 'I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what's hit me.

~ Douglas Adams

To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.

~ Douglas Adams

Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.

~ Douglas Adams

One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious.

~ Douglas Adams

I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed.

~ Douglas Adams

The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.

~ Douglas Adams

Arthur: If I asked you where the hell we were, would I regret it?Ford: We're safe.Arthur: Oh good.Ford: We're in a small galley cabin in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet. that I wasn't previously aware of.

~ Douglas Adams

Arthur blinked at the screens and felt he was missing something important. Suddenly he realized what it was.Is there any tea on this spaceship? he asked.

~ Douglas Adams

The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it which the merely improbable lacks.

~ Douglas Adams

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge?

~ Douglas Adams

I have detected disturbances in the wash.''The wash?''The space-time wash.''Are we talking about some sort of Vogon laundromat, or what are we talking about?''Eddies in the space-time continuum.''Ah...is he. Is he.''What?''Er, who is Eddy, then, exactly?

~ Douglas Adams

Ow! My brains!

~ Douglas Adams