Funny Quotes Quotes

Discipline allows magic. To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. You do not sit down and write every day to force the Muse to show up. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch.

~ Lili St. Crow

If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit same mistake again they just apologized for.

~ Amit Kalantri

Intelligence is more important than strength, that is why earth is ruled by men and not by animals.

~ Amit Kalantri

When you are angry try your best to go to sleep, it keeps you away from speaking, writing and thinking while you are angry.

~ Amit Kalantri

Good man and bad man with money goes a long ways. ~ Amunhotep El Bey

~ Amunhotep El Bey

Little people make tall claims. As being this-that avatar or messiah. Some even say they're God. Well, if they are, I'm their grand-pop.

~ Fakeer Ishavardas

I'm joking when I say I'm the grand-pop of those claiming to be an avatar-messiah or god. But if they're serious, then, I am who I am.

~ Fakeer Ishavardas

GPS has saved countless relationships because us men do not like to ask for directions. Now if women could only come with relationship GPS we would be one step closer to world peace.

~ Ken Poirot

Wise men don't feel companionless when they are not in the company of their egos.

~ Delian Zahariev

Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.

~ William Goldman

You don´t need a stage to prove that you´re a bad speaker.

~ Alin Sav

Was it just her, or did lovers look more adoringly at each other in this city? Especially in the springtime.'Die, bastards.'She sighed. It wasn't their fault that they were bastards who should die.

~ Kresley Cole

Writers don't get mad they get even in their novels.

~ Candace C. Bowen

Love is relentless, and so am I ;)

~ Keisha Keenleyside

An ignorant man who is regarded as knowledgeable by people who are more ignorant than him is still ignorant.

~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Punctuation was, it is sad to say, invented a very long time ago. Even more frustrating, it has remained with us ever since.

~ Anne Elizabeth Moore

It's probably not easy for a woman to understand what it's like to be a man. Imagine you're starving, and someone puts a huge buffet in front of you. There's delicious, mouth-watering food all around you, and it's really really hard not to eat it all. That's what it's like to be a man around attractive women. The urge to want to hump everything that moves is part of a man's natural programming. It's a deep-seated hunger. To suppress that hunger takes civilization and a lot of willpower.

~ Oliver Markus

All humans are rogues. Cured only by death.

~ Fakeer Ishavardas

Were I but perfectly normal, I would just not be.

~ Fakeer Ishavardas

Do not believe in a god who is as silly, and meaner than you. For, that would surely be your higher-self, and your stupid alter-ego.

~ Fakeer Ishavardas

Politics to me was the whining of an old braggart too proud to admit his faults and too vain to try something new. All of their agendas and manifestos were nothing but a lucrative offer to deceive the fools and encourage the clever in deceiving more fools.

~ Adhish Mazumder

I discovered that politics is not entirely about agendas and manifestos of some old, sullen creep promising a better future of the country as a whole. Politics is being played everywhere and it starts from the very bedroom that you consider your safe haven.

~ Adhish Mazumder

I suppose the latest thing is to sit back and let Mr. Nobody from Nowhere make love to your wife.

~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

Slap-stick comedy is really funny, unless you're the one getting slapped with the stick.

~ Carroll Bryant

Ish #303 It's a street food vendor! Stop asking for the health score rating.

~ Regina Griffin

You should praise, criticize and flirt with people right to their face, only then it will make a difference.

~ Amit Kalantri

This many pretty girls in the room, all watching you boys like you’re a wedding-reception one-night stand waiting to happen—

~ Cristin Harber

God, woman.” He closed his fist, not bothering to count off the dozens of other things she shouldn’t do. “You give me heartburn.”“No. Those are orgasms I give you, baby.

~ Cristin Harber

Holy swoonballs!

~ Cristin Harber

Holy mama llama. That’s Nathanial Stone. Nathanial Stone is sitting in my booth. Nathanial Stone is in the Finewhile Diner sitting in my booth. I’m supposed to wait on Nathanial Stone. I’m going to make a fool out of myself. I just know it. I can feel it coming. Crap.

~ D.l. Hess

I find blow jobs to be highly respectable. In fact, I can’t think of many things I respect more than your lips around my cock.

~ Heather M. Orgeron

You should really smile more Miss.” “Smiling Is overrated.” my voice as sharp as a knife, my voice deadpanned, as I sulked at the wall.

~ Shayla Orick

Amren,” Rhys drawled, “sends her regards. And as for this one … ” I tried not to flinch away from meeting his stare. “She’s mine,” he said quietly, but viciously enough that Devlon and his warriors nearby heard. “And if any of you lay a hand on her, you lose that hand. And then you lose your head.” I tried not to shiver, as Cassian and Mor showed no reaction at all. “And once Feyre is done killing you,” Rhys smirked, “then I’ll grind your bones to dust.

~ Sarah J. Maas

That one doesn’t count. The poor scoundrel is deaf, but he makes a fine sniffer. How do you think we found you?

~ H.s. Crow

In Science don't confound Normal static electricity To ecstatic eccentricity. Here is what I found: Electric charges As they rise up your hair In contrast with a discharge, Rarity leaves you up in the air!

~ Ana Claudia Antunes

I hardly have a typo when I am drunk and texting! But, I will have enough typos when I am emotionally charged with love, lust, poetry and hope, and texting!

~ Lukhman Pambra

The world’s most lethal venom is not found on the tongues of serpents, but on the tongues of a disgruntled wife.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

An inch to a man’s heart is a mile to his wallet.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Get high on love, not drugs.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Love is my favorite drug, I overdose on it regularly.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo