GPS has saved countless relationships because us men do not like to ask for directions. Now if women could only come with relationship GPS we would be one step closer to world peace.
You’re gorgeous. You’re sexy. You’re … asking me to cut that dress off you? I’m praying for strength.
A professional headshot in front of a bookshelf says you're an intellectual. A professional headshot peeking though a bookshelf says you're probably under a restraining order.
The world’s most lethal venom is not found on the tongues of serpents, but on the tongues of a disgruntled wife.
Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.
If men could be bought like clothes at an outlet, only then would women always get what they bargained for.
Women are the best thieves you will ever meet; they steal your heart and your last name, but never get to spend the night in jail.
O woman, father says natural is beautifulso why do you redden your cheeks and blacken your eyes?Why do you remove the hair on your legsand draw them into your brows?Why do you hold your breathlest your stomach showand hold your fartlest they knowthat you’re a human? O woman, father says natural is beautifulso why do you straighten your hairto curl it nextand pretend to orgasm so they think you enjoyed the sex?Why do you dumb yourself downand push your breasts up?Why do you smile when you’re told toand love when you don’t want to?When? When will you stop, woman? Father says natural is beautifulbut that is doubtfulfor what does father knowhe’s only a fellow.
I've never written a quote I feel would be suitable for my gravestone. Wouldn't it be ironic if it were this one? Oh, and could you pull a few weeds while you're here?
I am in the prime of my womanhood, nunga-nungas poised and trembling (attractively). Lips puckered up and in peak condition for a snogging fest.
I glance at him. He's looking at me, his expression every bit as expectant as I feel. I hate this little game of ours. Maybe because I'm no good at it. He won't tell me more unless I ask. Curiosity is one of my most incurable flaws--and Galen kno
I wonder why some people find it very difficult to follow God. Perhaps, they are waiting for Him to join a social network before they could start to follow Him.
Wisdom of the Ages: Brian Williams This guy gets around more than Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys, but this time, I think he's gone too far. Unfortunately, I can't put a cover of my book My Year in Oman with Mr. Williams' picture on the cover.
When I write, it feels like there are two little creatures that sit on each of my shoulders. One whispers, You can do this. You've got what it takes. The other sounds like my mother-in-law.