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Humor Quote quote from classy quote

A professional headshot in front of a bookshelf says you're an intellectual. A professional headshot peeking though a bookshelf says you're probably under a restraining order.

~ Ryan Lilly

Ryan Lilly Books Bookshelf Branding Business Humor Funny Quote Headshot Humor Humor Quote Humor Quotes Humorous Intellectual Intellectualism Intellectuals Peek Peeking Personal Branding Photo Photographer Photography Picture Professional Professionalism Profile Pic Profile Picture Quotable Quote Restraining Order

The world’s most lethal venom is not found on the tongues of serpents, but on the tongues of a disgruntled wife.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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An inch to a man’s heart is a mile to his wallet.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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Get high on love, not drugs.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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Love is my favorite drug, I overdose on it regularly.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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Your wife is smarter than you; know this, and you will live happily ever after.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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Falling in love with someone is intentional, even if it was their looks that tripped you.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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There is nothing wrong with being a puppet if love is the one pulling the strings.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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The easiest way to remember your future wife’s birthday is to marry her on Super Bowl Sunday.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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If men could be bought like clothes at an outlet, only then would women always get what they bargained for.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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The only time I hold my wife's hand tightly is when my wallet is in her other hand.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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Be calm on your wedding day; she won’t kill you in front of a hundred people, no matter what you've done.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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Women never stalk men, they just research them intensely.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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Women are the best thieves you will ever meet; they steal your heart and your last name, but never get to spend the night in jail.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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Humor is a tool to ease the harsh realities of life.

~ Ken Poirot

Ken Poirot Author Ken Poirot Quote Author Ken Poriot Quotes Humor Quote Humor Quotes Life Lesson Quote Life Lesson Quotes Life Quote Life Quotes

An angry wife can be more frightening than an army of disgruntled soldiers.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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I'm friends with a guy who is friends with a former Playboy model. So I guess you could say I'm 1 degree away from 212 degrees.

~ Ryan Lilly

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I'm like a stray cat. If you feed me, I don't leave.

~ Michelle M. Pillow

Michelle M. Pillow Author Life Cat Feeding Food Houseguest Humor Humor Quote Humorous Michelle Pillow Stray

I love that there's no cutoff where we get labeled and sent off to a home for hopeless, cranky, depressives. Every day is a new chance to listen longer and be braver and love more. We get to try again and again and again.

~ Anna White

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To be reborned many times over, you must unleash the power of inertia. But must you go out every time and reach for your highest potential?

~ C.c. Wyatt

C.c. Wyatt Humor Humor Quote Humorist Extraordinaire Inspirational Attitude

I surround myself with books when I write, thus surrounding myself with writers... only they don't critique me and then get up for coffee.

~ Ryan Lilly

Ryan Lilly Author Authoring Book Books Coffee Critique Critiques Funny Humor Quote Humor Quotes Write Writing

I enjoy self-publishing & sending publishers rejection letters. They're like, 'Who is this guy?' And I'm like, 'the end of your industry.

~ Ryan Lilly

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Boys are raw materials that women manufacture into products called men.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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A mother’s eyes are like God; impossible to get away from, they see everything.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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Ask your wife for forgiveness, even when you’re right.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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Two things are infinite, a woman’s patience and her husband’s mistakes.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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The easiest way to be the prettiest girl at a party is to rig the guest list.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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Women make the world go round, men turn it upside down.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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Women are heavyweight boxers; only, they punch with words, not fists.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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I like to go to Starbucks and watch the intellectuals. I observe them and their intellectualness. They in turn observe me drinking coffee and being a creeper.

~ Ryan Lilly

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My mother-in-law belongs in Hell, but the devil is afraid she’ll end up taking over.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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