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Humorous Quote quote from classy quote

GPS has saved countless relationships because us men do not like to ask for directions. Now if women could only come with relationship GPS we would be one step closer to world peace.

~ Ken Poirot

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If Socrates was alive today he would say : I know that I know everything. That's what contemporary philosophers do.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Ljupka Cvetanova Aphorism Humor Humorous Quote Irony Know Know Everything Knowledge Konow Nothing Philosopher Philosophy Quote Socrates Today

Sam's phone buzzed. She fished it out of her pocket, checked the screen, and cursed. I have to go.You just got here.Valkyrie business. Possible code three-eight-one: heroic death in progress.You're making that up.I'm not.So...what, somebody thinks they're about to die and they text you 'Going down! Need Valkyrie ASAP!' followed by a bunch of sad-face emojis?

~ Rick Riordan

Rick Riordan Comedy Funny Humor Humorous Humorous Quotations Humorous Quote Humour

What goes up must come down. Which is why we invented Viagra, to make it stay up a little longer.

~ Carroll Bryant

Carroll Bryant Comical Funny Humor Humorous Humorous Quote

I don't imagine book elitists as my audience when writing. I dream about teachers, morticians and garbage men instead.

~ Justin Alcala

Justin Alcala Blog Book Reading Books Funny Horror Humor Humorous Quote Inspirational Inspirational Attitude Inspirational Life Inspirational Quote Motivation Urban Fiction Urban Fiction Authors Writing Writing Advice Writing Craft Writing Philosophy Writing Process Writing Quotes

Get high on love, not drugs.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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Love is my favorite drug, I overdose on it regularly.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Boyfriend Quotes Drug Falling In Love Quotes Funny Quotations Funny Quote Funny Quotes Girlfriend Quotes Humor Quotations Humor Quote Humor Quotes Humorous Quotation Humorous Quotations Humorous Quote Humorous Quotes Love Quotations Love Quote Love Quotes Love Quotes And Saying Love Quotes And Sayings Love Quotes For Everybody Love Quotes Love Lovers Quotes Romance Quotes Romantic Quotes Sweet Romance

Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Boyfriend And Girlfriend Boyfriend Quotes Calm Quotes Chastise Falling In Love Quotes Funny Quotations Funny Quote Funny Quotes Humor Quotations Humor Quote Humor Quotes Humorous Quotation Humorous Quotations Humorous Quote Humorous Quotes Ignore Quotes Life Lesson Quotes Life Lessons Quotations Life Lessons Quote Life Lessons Quotes Life Quotations Life Quote Life Quotes Life Quotes And Sayings Love Quotations Love Quote Love Quotes Love Quotes And Saying Love Quotes And Sayings Love Quotes For Everybody Love Quotes Love Lovers Quotes Marital Advice Marital Issues Marital Problems Marriage Quotes Relationship Advice For Men Relationship Advice Quotes Relationship Quotes Spouse Quotes Wife Quotes

Falling in love with someone is intentional, even if it was their looks that tripped you.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Falling In Love Quotes Funny Quotations Funny Quote Funny Quotes Humor Quotations Humor Quote Humor Quotes Humorous Quotations Humorous Quote Humorous Quotes Love Quotations Love Quote Love Quotes Love Quotes And Saying Love Quotes And Sayings Love Quotes For Everybody Love Quotes Love Romance Quotes Romantic Quotes Sweet Romance

The easiest way to remember your future wife’s birthday is to marry her on Super Bowl Sunday.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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The only time I hold my wife's hand tightly is when my wallet is in her other hand.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Funny Quotations Funny Quote Funny Quotes Humor Quotations Humor Quote Humor Quotes Humorous Quotation Humorous Quotations Humorous Quote Humorous Quotes Husband Quotes Love Quotations Love Quote Love Quotes Love Quotes And Saying Love Quotes And Sayings Love Quotes For Everybody Love Quotes Love Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes

Love is a hook; the moment a man swallows it, a woman knows she has him forever.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Boyfriend And Girlfriend Boyfriend Quotes Courtship Quotes Dating Quotes Funny Quotations Funny Quotes Girlfriend Quotes Humor Quotations Humor Quotes Humorous Quotations Humorous Quote Humourous Quotes Husband Quotes Life Lesson Quotes Life Lessons Quotes Life Quotations Life Quote Life Quotes Life Quotes And Sayings Life Quotes Inspirational Quotes Love Quotations Love Quote Love Quotes Love Quotes And Saying Love Quotes And Sayings Love Quotes For Everybody Love Quotes Love Marriage Quotes Relationship Advice For Men Relationship Advice For Women Relationship Advice Quotes Relationship Quotes Wedding Quotes Wife Quotes Woman Quotations Woman Quotes

The pressures of business relationships: so I tell the guy I usually have my tea time at 10 o’clock every morning. He calls me at noon (very upset) because I didn’t meet him on the golf course.

~ Eric Christopher Jackson

Eric Christopher Jackson Humorous Quote Humour

What I learn today I shall know forever. Whether or not I remember that I know it is a different story.

~ Richelle E. Goodrich

Richelle E. Goodrich Humor Humorous Quote Know Knowledge Learning Memory Remember Richelle Richelle Goodrich Today Tomorrow Wisdom

I'm friends with a guy who is friends with a former Playboy model. So I guess you could say I'm 1 degree away from 212 degrees.

~ Ryan Lilly

Ryan Lilly Boiling Degree Degrees Friend Friends Funny Hot Humor Humor Quote Humor Quotes Humorous Quote Humorous Quotes Magazine Model Modeling Network Networking Playboy

Understandably she had a lot of suitors, just like any other girls in China with two arms and legs.

~ Vann Chow

Vann Chow China Dating Finding A Girlfriend Gender Imbalance Gender Inequality Humorous Quote Men Sarcastic Women

Monthly, out of common courtesy, he went to inquire after the invalid Charles, who refused either to die or get better.

~ Winston Graham

Winston Graham Humor Humorous Humorous Quote

I could say how well he dances, but that isn't true, for he dances like that big friendly bear I saw last Christmas.

~ Winston Graham

Winston Graham Humor Humorous Humorous Quote

Suddenly, the double doors of the parlor whooshed open. A large fleshy woman stood before me in full regalia. Her eyes were all made up, earrings and bracelets jangling. The sign in the window said Miss Sadie was a medium. From the look of her, I'd say that was a bit wishful.

~ Clare Vanderpool

Clare Vanderpool Humor Humorous Humorous Quotations Humorous Quote Humorous Quotes

After giving it some thought, I've decided to name my monkey mind Ricky Bobby. I was thinking about Latin names like Javier, but I don't want to make my jumping, distractable self sound mysterious and sexy. Ricky Bobby makes me laugh. A name like that seems silly, not strong. Just a goofy little thing that doesn't know what to do with its hands, likes to go fast, and loves tiny, infant, baby Jesus.

~ Anna White

Anna White Distraction Focus Humor Humorous Quote Life Memoir Monkey Mind Ricky Bobby

Jean-Baptiste Say may have coined the term 'entrepreneur' but he totally missed the opportunity to put it on a t-shirt and sell it.

~ Ryan Lilly

Ryan Lilly Economics Economics Quote Economist Economy Entrepreneur Entrepreneurial Entrepreneurial Quote Entrepreneurship Entrepreneurship Quotes Funny Historical History Humor Humorous Quote Jean Baptiste Say Motivation Quote Motivational Quote Opportunities Opportunity Start Up Start Ups Startup Startup Quote Startup Quotes Startups T Shirt Thsirts

Don’t stop writing until someone pries the pen from your cold, dead hands.

~ James John Tritten

James John Tritten Humorous Quote Inspirational Quote Writing Advice

Some of us are looking at the stars, but all of us are living in the gutter.

~ Vann Chow

Vann Chow Dreams Gutter Hopes Humorous Quote Life Lesson Oscar Wilde Reality Check Sarcasm Sarcastic Quote Stars

If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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What if my boobs decide to grow WHILE I'm at school?

~ Renata Suerth

Renata Suerth Body Image Growing Up Humorous Quote

A mother’s eyes are like God; impossible to get away from, they see everything.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Baby Quotes Child Quote Child Quotes Children Quotes Family Quotes Funny Quotations Funny Quotes God Quotes Humor Quotations Humor Quote Humor Quotes Humorous Quotations Humorous Quote Humorous Quotes Mom Quotes Mother Quotes Motherhood Humor Motherhood Quotes Omniscience Omniscient Quote Parenting Quotes See Quotes

Two things are infinite, a woman’s patience and her husband’s mistakes.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

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The easiest way to be the prettiest girl at a party is to rig the guest list.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Funny Quotations Funny Quote Funny Quotes Girl Quotes Humor Quotations Humor Quote Humor Quotes Humorous Quotations Humorous Quote Humorous Quotes Party Pretty Quote Woman Quotations Woman Quotes

She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Dinner Funny Quotations Funny Quote Funny Quotes Humor Quotations Humor Quote Humor Quotes Humorous Quotation Humorous Quotations Humorous Quote Humorous Quotes Husband Quotes Joke Lazy Quotes Marriage Quotes Relationship Quotes Wife Quotes

Women are heavyweight boxers; only, they punch with words, not fists.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Matshona Dhliwayo Box Boxers Fight Quotes Fist Funny Quotations Funny Quote Funny Quotes Humor Quote Humor Quotes Humorous Quotations Humorous Quote Humorous Quotes Punch Women Quotes

Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: Wilson or Brady? The writing is on the ball...

~ Matthew Heines

Matthew Heines Humorous Quote Humorous Quotes Seattle Seahawks Superbowl

I'm not afraid of you!' The wombat yelled. 'I saw you get stuck in the washing machine once. Round and round you went! Who's afraid of something that can't defeat a rinse cycle?

~ Catherynne M. Valente

Catherynne M. Valente Fearless Humorous Quote

There were pecans, there were cashews and then there was just plain nuts.

~ Mary Hughes

Mary Hughes Craziness Crazy Humor Humorous Quote Nuts
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