Sarcastic Quotes

Jace broke off the kiss and stepped back with an exhale; before Clary could say anything, a chorus of sarcastic applause broke out from the nearby hill. Simon, Isabelle, and Alec waved at them. Jace bowed while Clary stepped back slightly sheepishly, hooking her thumbs into the belt of her jeansJace sighed. Shall we join our annoying, voyeuristic friends?Unfortunately, that's the only kind of friends we have.

~ Cassandra Clare

If money’s the god people worship, I’d rather go worship the devil instead.

~ Jess C. Scott

Keep your heads up! We are sinking!

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Keep trying?I'd rather keep walking. I mean, whisky is whisky

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Yes, because a vampire slumber party is the pinnacle of safety conscious behavior.

~ Stephenie Meyer

Girls, on the other hand, have always come easy. I don't know why that is, exactly. Maybe it's the outsider vibe and a well-placed brooding look. Maybe it's something I think I see sometimes in the mirror, something that reminds me of my father. Or maybe I'm just damn easy on the eyes.

~ Kendare Blake

No, but as a vampire, I'm able to detect subtle shifts in emotional energy.

~ Rachel Hawkins

Little-known fact about cheerleaders: They keep schedules that would make grown marines cry.

~ Jennifer Lynn Barnes

So what's it to be, Bear?Dev lifted his leg and gave a sarcastic slap to his thigh.By golly, I'll take door number two, Bob. You know the one that calls for straight suicide with a side of mutilation and pain? Sign my hairy ass up for that and don't be late.

~ Sherrilyn Kenyon

Carpe Diem, just remember that we're partying on the Titanic.

~ Will Mcintosh

You think he left a big flashing arrow pointing to a filing cabinet labeled 'Evidence Here!'? He's a Stray, Ethan, not Wile E. Coyote!

~ Rachel Vincent

The logic behind patriotism is a mystery. At least a man who believes that his own family or clan is superior to all others is familiar with more than 0.000003% of the people involved.

~ Criss Jami

Caroline's lips thinned, her face flushed. My husband, sir, has more secrets in his tiny, insignificant mind than the entire British War Department has had on file since its inception. She huffed with pure, disgusted outrage, lowering her gaze to the floor to murmur, I'll kill him.

~ Adele Ashworth

She let out a strangled laugh. “Yeah, that’s how it works. I just woke up one morning and was like, ‘gee, I want to screw Kyler.’ Seriously, you have no clue.

~ Jennifer Armentrout

My maid never sweeps under the bed so I asked her to do so today. Found a pen, three pairs of shoes and the man I had lost two years ago.

~ Sanhita Baruah

You can make fun of yourself and people will laugh at you. If you’re smart, you’ll end up as a comedian. If you’re not, you’ll end up as a clown.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

If this constant bitter disappointment was love, then I was perfectly fine not to have anything to do with it.

~ Vann Chow

It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half.

~ Jess C. Scott

The only difference between having an affair here and having an affair there was that the American men would always ended up losing half of his estates over a woman he was infatuated just as much as the next tramp who would come his way, while Japanese men would only earn more respect from their subordinates through the possession of much younger women, as a sign of prowess and affluence, while their wives at home, as if there were rule books distributed nationally on the “proper” marriage etiquette for all young Japanese women to read before they enter into the matrimony, would turn a blind eye on their disloyalty quietly.

~ Vann Chow

While I still did not know what self- actualization that sat on the top level of the pyramid meant, I could believethat if I knew I would be able to say something positive about it as well inmy life.

~ Vann Chow

Do you know what happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your wife back, your dog back and your job back.

~ Richard Belzer

It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing

~ Josh Stern

I don't like him. He makes me laugh. It'll wrinkle my face.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

If all it takes to motivate you is a quote then this quote has nothing to say – except to go soar with the freakin’ eagles.

~ Ryan Lilly

Understandably she had a lot of suitors, just like any other girls in China with two arms and legs.

~ Vann Chow

I don’t even pretend to believe I know everything; I just believe in arguments God told me I had a pretty good chance of winning, while I was traveling through hell.

~ Shannon L. Alder

The worst thing about the dead rising? (Other than, you know, all the zombies?) The smell. Nothing kills the mood like the odor of three day old road kill and poo... -Katherine Anita Cho(KyCH)

~ Shawn Durnin

All right, we need a way to get into the palace. Any ideas?Ask nicely? Charge in? Fly? Wait, do you mean reasonable ones?

~ Noelle Crawford

We’re automatons in a symphony conducted by a lunatic and performed by blind idealists.” Damon

~ Eleni Papanou

How many kids are in the Graveyard?A bunch.Who sends your supplies?George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget.How often do you receive new arrivals?About as often as you beat your wife.

~ Neal Shusterman

We are the generation of Social Media, Our biggest Revolution is a Tweet of 141 Characters.

~ Sandra Chami Kassis

One time, I went to a restaurant and I asked the waiter for some food for thought. He left, came back, and tried shoving a sirloin in my ear.

~ Travis J. Dahnke

God is always willing to give you the best life possible. If you change your mind at any time you are free to go back to enjoying hell.

~ Shannon L. Alder

I'll never understand ninety-nine percent of humanity. - Enoch

~ Ransom Riggs

You're just a huge romantic at heart, aren't you?If there's cash involved, I'm anything you want me to be.

~ Jasper Fforde

I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood.

~ J.d. Salinger

Have you noticed we can breathe in here too?Gosh, I wouldn't have picked up on that.

~ Dan Abnett

She decided to make his life as terrible, tragic and complicated as possible, so that some day Percy Jackson would have a really hard time writing about it.

~ Rick Riordan

Goody. That must be why they were looking for a 22-caliber anything when they came by with their search warrant this morning.''They didn't!''They did.''When?''Oddly enough, right before I upped my meds.

~ Sandra Balzo

Your middle name might be discreet, but mine is resourceful, Darling.

~ Ella Dominguez