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Sarcastic Humor Quotes

Sarcastic Humor quote from classy quote

If money’s the god people worship, I’d rather go worship the devil instead.

~ Jess C. Scott

Jess C. Scott Bromance Commercialism Core Core Of The Soul Core Values Devil God Humor Humour Job Materialism Mm Money Rat Race Religion Rockstar Sarcasm Sarcastic Sarcastic Humor Sarcastic Quotes Satan Society Work Working Worship Yaoi

Walang matibay na relasyon kung buhay pa ang mga Kalapating mababa ang lipad...

~ Napz Cherub Pellazo

Napz Cherub Pellazo Inspirational Quotes Life Lessons Life Quotes Sarcasm Sarcastic Humor Tagalog Quotes

Women strive to be the change they want to see in the mirror.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Ljupka Cvetanova Aphorism Change Change The World Driving Force Fake Fake People False Falsehood Humour Irony Make Up Mirror Quote Quotes Sarcasm Sarcastic Humor See Strive Strive For More Strive To Achieve Success Strive To Be Better Strive To Become A Better You Superficial Superficiality Want Woman Women S Inspirational Women S Rights Women Strength

Christians rejected the need for proof to support belief in God, yet dismissed proof altogether when it was there.

~ Kira Peikoff

Kira Peikoff Religion Sarcastic Humor

I’d venture to guess that a list of things you know nothing about could fill volumes.

~ Heidi Schulz

Heidi Schulz Knowledge Sarcastic Humor Sarcastic Quotes

Politics to me was the whining of an old braggart too proud to admit his faults and too vain to try something new. All of their agendas and manifestos were nothing but a lucrative offer to deceive the fools and encourage the clever in deceiving more fools.

~ Adhish Mazumder

Adhish Mazumder Adhish Mazumder Quotes Agenda Quotes Election Quotes Fools Quotes Funny Quotes Humor Quotes Inspirational Quotes Life Lessons Life Quotes Manifesto Quotes Political Definition Political Game Politicians Politics Defined Politics Quotes Sarcasm Sarcastic Humor Sarcastic Quotes

I choked on the air I'd just sucked in and swung around in disbelief. What did you just say?Me and the whole PD heard about your wet bra, so I'm assuming your panties are wet too.

~ Rachel Brookes

Rachel Brookes Funny Sarcastic Humor

You know, Mac,”Cadmus said still looking out the window. “We may have to work on the way we tell our story …apparently it’s not amusing enough.” “I’ll try to include a joke between ‘he bled to death’and ‘the city burned’.”Machaon responded tersely.

~ Sulari Gentill

Sulari Gentill Amusing Dark Humor Funny Gods Greek Greek Gods Greek Mythology Greek Myths Greeks Joke Odysseus Sarcasm Sarcastic Humor Story Trojan Horse Trojan War Trojans War

I don't spend money on books. I write them myself.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Ljupka Cvetanova Aphorism Author Authors Books Irony Poor Quality Quote Sarcasm Sarcastic Humor Spend Spend Money Write Writer Writers On Writing

In the battle of DNAs, your DNA will always win against the DNA of your father.

~ Prashant Yadav

Prashant Yadav Humor Humour Quote Sarcasm Sarcastic Humor Sarcastic Quotes

it seems politicians projected the powerful brand called Ambedkar, rather than his ideologies. Like the ad says 'name is enough.

~ Anoop Raghav

Anoop Raghav Humour Political Sarcastic Humor

No one plows the field just by thinking about it.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Ljupka Cvetanova Aphorism Field Fieldwork Ironic Ironical Irony Plow Plowing Quote Sarcasm Sarcastic Humor Think Think Big Think Different Thinking Work Working Hard

If this constant bitter disappointment was love, then I was perfectly fine not to have anything to do with it.

~ Vann Chow

Vann Chow Bitterness Breakup Disappointment Giving Up On Love Love Love Hurts Pain Relationship Sad Sadness Sarcastic Sarcastic Humor Sarcastic Love Quotes Sarcastic Quotes

It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half.

~ Jess C. Scott

Jess C. Scott Control Control Freaks Control Issues Cynic Cynical Cynical Humor Cynicism Lust Lust For Everything Marriage Married Life Sarcasm Sarcastic Sarcastic Humor Spouse Spouses

..each ministry has an allocation of money to spend on projects agreed to by the government. Every Secretary of State is acutely aware that his tenure of office maybe very short, so he picks out a major contract for himself from the many available. It's the one way to ensure a pension for life if the government is changed overnight or the minister simply loses his job.

~ Jeffrey Archer

Jeffrey Archer Government Minister Money Pension Sarcasm Sarcastic Humor

Oh. Sure. It makes perfect sense. Zane is a wolf because his father is an eagle.

~ C.j. Milbrandt

C.j. Milbrandt Adventure Comical Early Readers Fantasy Sarcastic Humor Shapeshifters Wolf

It’s like a jolt of electricity, but worse.

~ Lee Davidson

Lee Davidson Angels Fantasy Humor Sarcastic Humor Young Adult

The great thing about the Internet isn't that you can reconnect with old friends or stay up to date with developing world events or send pictures of newborns immediately around the world. It is simply that you can log on to jcpenney.com from anywhere and order fresh underwear immediately after seeing your life flash before your eyes.

~ David C. Holley

David C. Holley Facebook Family Friends Humor Life Newborns Online Shopping Sarcastic Humor Social Media

I know the power of speech. I don't talk much.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Ljupka Cvetanova Aphorism Cautious Don T Talk Too Muchalk Irony Misunderstanding Power Power Of Speec Quote Sarcasm Sarcastic Humor Speech Talk Words

Some people stride toward a better future. Others have chauffeurs.

~ Ljupka Cvetanova

Ljupka Cvetanova Aphorism Aphorisms Aphorist Aphoristic Aphoristically Better Better Future Better Place Better World Chauffeurs Easy Life Funny Future Have Help Humor Humor Inspirational Humorous Humorous Quotes Ironic Humor Irony Life And Living Other People Others Others People S Lives Others Perspective Others Point Of View People Nature People Relations Quote Sarcasm Sarcastic Humor Sarcastic Wisdom Saying Some Some People Stride Striding Toward Toward Others

If all it takes to motivate you is a quote then this quote has nothing to say – except to go soar with the freakin’ eagles.

~ Ryan Lilly

Ryan Lilly Business Humor Eagles Humor Humor Quotes Motivation Motivational Quote Quotes Sarcastic Sarcastic Humor Sarcastic Quotes

My cock actually sort of staggers like a punch-drunk boxer who doesn’t know when to stay down.

~ Alexis Hall

Alexis Hall Arousal Awesome Bdsm Mm Romance Sarcastic Humor Sex

Never trust your colleagues. Work politics are founded by them.

~ Adhish Mazumder

Adhish Mazumder Politics Quotes Sarcasm Sarcastic Humor Sarcastic Quotes Trust Quotes Truth Quotes Wisdom Quotes Work Politics Quotes

I didn’t intend it to come out sarcastically, but I guess that’s just where my tone of voice automatically goes these days.

~ M.a. George

M.a. George Paranormal Romance Sarcasm Sarcastic Humor

Phrase the question any way you like…The answer will still be ‘Kiss my ass.

~ M.a. George

M.a. George Humor Kiss My Ass Paranormal Romance Sarcastic Humor

I paused for a moment, debating whether to turn and look what was happening. My senses told me Obo’s presence was still at my side, and turning my face into the barrel of a gun seemed like an ill-advised way to cap off this day of monumentally stupid decisions.

~ M.a. George

M.a. George Humor Paranormal Romance Sarcastic Humor Stupid Decisions

It’s a sad state of affairs when I’m the one bringing sanity to the equation

~ M.a. George

M.a. George Equation Humor Paranormal Romance Sanity Sarcastic Humor

There’s an empty seat next to me in the ‘intensely aggravating’ section…and it’s got your name on it

~ M.a. George

M.a. George Aggravating Paranormal Romance Sarcastic Humor

The cleanest civilization I’ve ever seen…and the number one thing you pack for a wedding is a jar of dirt?

~ M.a. George

M.a. George Jar Of Dirt Paranormal Romance Sarcastic Humor Wedding Traditions

I wish I could say I’m low maintenance, but I like some of the finer things in life…like a toothbrush.

~ M.a. George

M.a. George Humor Low Maintenance Paranormal Romance Sarcastic Humor The Finer Things In Life

But you know as well as I do that anger won’t solve anything.”“I beg to differ,” he shrugged. “Anger can be quite rewarding…at least for those of us who have the option of blasting our enemies to oblivion.

~ M.a. George

M.a. George Anger Enemies Humor Paranormal Romance Sarcastic Humor

My instincts told me that death would somehow be…different. But my rational mind reminded me that I had probably tempted fate one too many times. At least, I thought it was my rational mind. It sure seemed like the usual voice inside my head. Thank God there was only one of them.

~ M.a. George

M.a. George Humor Paranormal Romance Sarcastic Humor Voices Inside Your Head

See, that’s just it…You shouldn’t even know sayings like that,” I griped. “It takes normal people years to pick up on all those little phrases. Do you have any idea how stupid I feel, when I can’t even say ‘Hello, my name is Palta…Oh, and by the way—I’m the village idiot.’?

~ M.a. George

M.a. George Humor Paranormal Romance Sarcastic Humor

Ah yes…” He made an exaggerated nod. “I was supposed to be filling you in on Nangí’s story.” He winked at me playfully, as I kept up my glare. “Now, where should I begin?”“Tell you what, let me get you started,” I came back. “Once upon a time, there was this über-creepy old man—who looks like he lives in a haunted shack and eats small children for breakfast—and I decided to make him my new best friend becaaauuse… Okay, your turn.

~ M.a. George

M.a. George Creepy Humor Paranormal Romance Sarcastic Humor Snarky Remarks

Think of mental energy as broadcasting on a certain wavelength,” he tried to explain. “People with powers of the mind can tap into that wavelength…”“That’s all fine and good,” I nodded, “but evidently my transmitter is broken. Or much more likely…I never had one in the first place.”“Ah, yes,” he nodded unenthusiastically, “and your nose is mounted upside-down.”“Excuse me?” My forehead creased.“I do wish you would quit contradicting me,” he let out a tired sigh. “It’s insulting…and highly annoying.

~ M.a. George

M.a. George Dry Humor Paranormal Romance Sarcastic Humor

I’m not familiar with this word you were repeating before…‘cojones’, was it?”I blushed as Dominick patted me on the back. “Way to introduce him to the vernacular, Palta.

~ M.a. George

M.a. George Cojones Humor Paranormal Romance Sarcastic Humor

Aeron’s stone-faced expression cracked, as he turned to give me a dumbfounded look. Meeting his questioning eyes, I let out a little annoyed sigh, “I refuse to believe that you don’t know the meaning of ‘cojones’.”“I’m well aware of the meaning,” he raised his eyebrows, fighting back a smile. “Just a little surprised at your choice of words…”“Yeah, I can really paint a verbal picture,” I responded dryly.

~ M.a. George

M.a. George Humor Paranormal Romance Sarcastic Humor

You get a kick out of shocking the pants off me, don’t you?” I shook my head with a smirk.He just shrugged with a playful smile, his eyes momentarily flitting toward my pants before returning to meet my gaze.“It’s an expression,” I rolled my eyes. “Don’t tell me you aren’t familiar with it, Mr. Smarty Pants.”“You have quite a repertoire of ‘pants’ references, don’t you?

~ M.a. George

M.a. George Humor Pants Paranormal Romance Sarcastic Humor

I can only imagine what goes on in that head of yours…” he teased. “I assure you I haven’t taken up black magic, ritualistic sacrifice, or—”“Plushophilia?” I tagged on.“Excuse me?…” came his half-confused, half-intrigued reaction.“An obsession with stuffed animals,” I clarified. “I mean, you are a young one…”“Where did you come up with that?” He kept his hands firmly covering my eyes, but I could hear the amused smile in his voice. “Is that even a real word?”“I’m a doctor, I know these things,” I shrugged.

~ M.a. George

M.a. George Humor Paranormal Romance Sarcastic Humor

Don’t be so concerned,” he whispered. “We will get through this, I promise.” “What makes you so certain?” I couldn’t help my skepticism.“We have no other choice,” he replied matter-of-factly. “Is that really all you can come up with?” I scowled. “Couldn’t you just lie and tell me you have some kind of secret badass weapon that is going to make this a piece of cake?

~ M.a. George

M.a. George Humor Paranormal Romance Sarcastic Humor
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