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David C. Holley Quotes

David C. Holley quote from classy quote

The great thing about the Internet isn't that you can reconnect with old friends or stay up to date with developing world events or send pictures of newborns immediately around the world. It is simply that you can log on to jcpenney.com from anywhere and order fresh underwear immediately after seeing your life flash before your eyes.

~ David C. Holley

David C. Holley Facebook Family Friends Humor Life Newborns Online Shopping Sarcastic Humor Social Media

Women do not lie about their age. In fact, no woman ever has, its just that memory is the first thing to go.

~ David C. Holley

David C. Holley Age Humor Lie Memory Sarcasm Women

Word of advice for any young man that might want to take out Malia or Sasha Obama - Their father can order an assassination, don't piss him off.

~ David C. Holley

David C. Holley Absurd Advice Assassination Awkward Humor Obama Piss Off

Word of advice - never ask a terrorist the question 'What would you do for a Klondike bar?'.

~ David C. Holley

David C. Holley Advice Funny Humor Klondike Bar Sarcasm Terrorist

Son, my dad said, every man needs a bitter, resentful woman in his life. Because there's nothing more touching to a mother's heart than to know that her son thinks of her constantly.

~ David C. Holley

David C. Holley Bitter Crazy Life Man Mother Resentful Sarcasm Sarcastic Humor Son Touching Woman

Oh I'd be more than happy to hold, I'll just spend the time working on that brain tumor.

~ David C. Holley

David C. Holley Brain Tumor Humor On Hold Sarcasm

There are only a few things that are more entertaining than watching a cat trying to run across a freshly waxed wood floor after a ball.

~ David C. Holley

David C. Holley Ball Cat Cats Chasing Playful Silly Sweet The Little Things Wood Floor Refinishing

If a 6 foot tall talking Badger comes to your door with a great deal on health insurance, be certain to ask if it includes in-patient psychiatric care.

~ David C. Holley

David C. Holley Badger Crazy Health Insurance Humor Jokes Psychiatric Sales

The Black Pit of Despair is temporarily closed for renovations. We apologize for any inconvenience.

~ David C. Holley

David C. Holley Awkward Black Pit Dispair Funny Random Sarcastic Witty
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