Dry Humor Quotes

If people doubt you, then you made progress from who cares?

~ René Friedrich

Now, nature, as I am only too aware, has her enthusiasts, but on the whole, I am not to be counted among them. To put it bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.

~ Fran Lebowitz

His father was an ass and he is an ass. I imagine sooner than I should like I shall be playing uncle to a litter of asses.

~ T.a. Miles

We keep electing council members for appearance sake, it doesn’t mean anything, and it is just a show for the people, so that they may sleep well at night with their delusion of peace.

~ S.r. Gibbs

Think of mental energy as broadcasting on a certain wavelength,” he tried to explain. “People with powers of the mind can tap into that wavelength…”“That’s all fine and good,” I nodded, “but evidently my transmitter is broken. Or much more likely…I never had one in the first place.”“Ah, yes,” he nodded unenthusiastically, “and your nose is mounted upside-down.”“Excuse me?” My forehead creased.“I do wish you would quit contradicting me,” he let out a tired sigh. “It’s insulting…and highly annoying.

~ M.a. George

When the Attorney-General ceased, a buzz arose in the court as if a cloud of great blue-flies were swarming about the prisoner, in anticipation of what he was soon to become.

~ Charles Dickens

Kelsier rapped lightly on the door, and Dockson strolled over, pulling it open.And he makes his stunning entry! Kelsier announced, sweeping into the room, throwing back his mistcloak.Dockson snorted, shutting the doors. You're truly a wonder to behold, Kell. Particularly the soot stains on your knees.

~ Brandon Sanderson

Democracy is a poor system, the only thing that can be said for it is that it's eight times as good as any other method.

~ Robert A. Heinlein

What was it Like?What was what like? he said, although he knew.Quick, I imagine. But you must have perceived something. A split second of vanishing awareness. A grasping at a shrinking light. It was like being fucked in the brain.

~ Max Barry

What New England is, is a state of mind, a place where dry humor and perpetual disappointment blend to produce an ironic pessimism that folks from away find most perplexing

~ Willem Lange

Most of you Mistborn are probably too proud to crawl. I'm surprised you were willing to do so your

~ Brandon Sanderson