Funny Quote Quotes

A man who boasts he's the head of the home must never forget the woman is the knife at his throat.

~ Matshona Dhliwayo

Wisdom of the Ages: Unsuccessful pick-up lines 'My parole ends today, let's celebrate!

~ Matthew Heines

Wisdom of the Ages: Valentine's Day Because she never forgets, especially if you do.

~ Matthew Heines

Your booty call embargo will remain intact.

~ Cristin Harber

You're asking the cyborg fugitive and the wild animal to be the welcoming committee? That's adorable.

~ Marissa Meyer

I would make a poor princess,' she said. 'Why?''Have you ever wished to be a princess?' Ash challenged her. 'That depends,' Kaisa said. 'On what?''On whether I'd have to marry a prince,' she said and her tone was lighthearted, inviting Ash to share her smile.

~ Malinda Lo

As one would expect, the Pope’s schedule is quite disciplined—he wakes up at four o’clock each morning and runs on the treadmill for an hour. I’m totally kidding. Nobody’s knees have time for that.

~ Jared Brock

Halt regarded him. He loved Horace like a younger brother. Even like a second son, after will. He admired his skill with a sword and his courage in battle. But sometimes, just sometimes, he felt an overwhelming desire to ram the young warrior's head against a convenient tree.

~ John Flanagan

We found Trent and pulled him off the leggy girl. “Trent, it’s time to get home before your parents realize we snuck out.” I said. “What?” he asked confusedly. “Plus the bouncer found out we were sixteen and he does not look happy.” Logan added. The girl froze, “You’re sixteen? What the hell. You little perv, you’re going to pay for this.” Trent sputtered, “What? No.” Logan looked at her all doe eyed innocence and said “Sorry Ma’am, we have to get home now because it’s past our curfew.” Trent stood open mouthed in shock but his eyes were shooting murderous rays. So many death glares, so little time.

~ Amanda Kelly