Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later he may be with his real girlfriend.
~ Amy Sedaris
My mother always said 'Don't bother other people.' I think that's good advice.
Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.
Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.
Accentuaute the positives - medicate the negatives.
I don't mind pointing out some of the failings of old age, because we are all headed in that direction, unless of course we take our own lives before we become a burden. I'm not advocating suicide, oh wait, I guess I am.
I think it's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.
Books are challenging and inspirational to me.
There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.
I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid.
I have always wanted a bunny and I'll always have a rabbit the rest of my life.
My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.
People who shop in health food stores never look healthy.
I like to decide the night before Thanksgiving that I'm gonna do it, and I'll see what riff raff is around. Then I get that last-minute surge of energy. But if I had two weeks to plan, sometimes I wish I wasn't doing it. But very seldom does that happen.
I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd get your supplies, and then you'd use your imagination.
You think in a different way when you don't have any money. The joy of poverty is that you use your imagination to come up with stuff.
My father and I have a very good relationship. We always got along. But I always scold him.
I wouldn't call myself a shut-in. I have the ability to leave my home; I just choose not to. But because I'm such a homebody, it's important to be surrounded by things I love.
I never really take shortcuts. I was always one of those people who, instead of cutting across someone's yard on the way home from school, I would go to the end of the block and turn.
