Stephen Colbert said this quote

“ If I had one wish, it would be for self-drying pants. Wait -- no! Unlimited wishes! How do I return these stupid pants?! ”

Famous Quotes of Stephen Colbert

Famous quotes of Stephen Colbert from the classy quote

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Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.

~ Stephen Colbert

If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.

~ Stephen Colbert

All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.

~ Stephen Colbert

A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?

~ Stephen Colbert