Stephen Colbert said this quote

Clearly, America has no shortage of metaphorical opportunities for the poor.

~ Stephen Colbert

If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.

~ Stephen Colbert

All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.

~ Stephen Colbert

A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?

~ Stephen Colbert