I stopped writing in the obvious. I wrote how I saw it and if they don’t understand it, that’s fine.
I didn’t fear you. I feared us. I feared what could have been. I feared what could be. I feared the connection we had between each other. The toxicity because I could grasp the danger.
I think we might’ve met in a past life. You know, one of those you pass and think, wow you’re kind of beautiful. Just one of those.
You didn’t understand the poem, but that was because it wasn’t for you. It was for me to understand the pain you put me through.
We live in a world of contrast and it’s sad we are among people who can’t seem to grasp the differences surrounding them.
He said he liked my rhythm. I said I liked his heartbeat, and it was within that moment I knew our corners would never meet.
He was my entire world. He still is. My best friend, lover, partner in crime and my other soul. But he didn’t agree. A person isn’t supposed to be your entire world, he said. But he’s wrong. When you love yourself, you love others. When you find yourself, you find others. When you create your world and it’s thriving, you create others. And I built an entire world for him. For us. As he once built for me.
Stop making excuses for other people. For why they do certain things. For how they treat people or how they treat you. Giving excuse and justifcation gives defense which lets them act however they want. It allows them because you tolerated it. Don’t accept less than what you’re worth because you’re worth a lot.
Ran out of things to say, metaphors for you. Why the ocean’s clear instead of blue, why mountains in the distance had reminded me of you.
The beauty was nothing made sense. We were complex. We were intricate. We were designed with flaws which seemed to make everything perfect. But the defining word is seem. We don’t see what’s in front of us until it’s away from us. Until it’s behind us. Until it doesn’t bother us. Sometimes things aren’t perfect, yet they appear to be. Sometimes life doesn’t make sense until it does. But it always does.
We love certain people until death. We love others until we don’t. And sometimes we never fell in love in the first place. Falling in love isn’t necessary. Building character, life experience, development, and self-love: those are important. People get lost in the idea of affection for another person that they completely disregard themselves. That’s dangerous. Life isn’t about building something with someone. Life is about building something for yourself, but if someone comes along and they align, you share it with them.
Not every relationship is meant to last. Some are there to create an impact on your life. Relationships that last three months are just as important as ones that last a lifetime.
I stopped writing in a way they would understand because it wasn’t for them or even him. It was for I to understand, for I to make sense, and for I to let go of it.
Life isn’t about building something with someone else. It’s about building something for a cause greater than yourself, but if someone comes along and they’re worthy enough, we let them build with us.
I loved you with texture. You loved with a softness. Texture brought detail, softness brought folds. Folds brought creases and creases had secrets.
You’re not supposed to be in a relationship because it’s comfortable, it’s supposed to be because they make you a better person.
I went into the new year loving myself in different ways, in a different possibility. It was then that I understood things I hadn’t. It was then that I understood people I hadn’t. We work in ways where sometimes we don’t align because our intersections lead us elsewhere. We find ourselves in rapids which lead to lightning, in beds that leave us homesick. We lust after the impetuous, in hopelessness, and sometimes in the reactive. We like things and people who are bad for us and that’s fine. It’s fine because it’s life. It happens. They exist. We exist. We all exist together in this world where nothing seems to make sense. Where everything is nothing but imaginary because it’s what we imagine it to be. Reality exists and it’s there, but life is what you make it. Your actions ask for it. How you exist is how you exist.We take every new year and give it a theme because we’re scared of how it could be. You change in the moment, not by years. You be to become and becoming is something which frightens people. Lead by example instead of letting the example lead you. Take this new year and find yourself in people who question it because questioning is how you gain from it.