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Dylan Perry Quotes

Dylan Perry quote from classy quote

Ready? Aeron called over.Michael span to see him giving a thumbs up to the booth. His eye was drawn down to the huge war hammer hanging from his other hand.How about we start with a chase? Try to touch the far wall and get back here before I cripple you. He smiled as if he'd said 'tag you', not 'cripple you'.

~ Dylan Perry

Dylan Perry Fantasy Funny Gods Humor Humour

I've done this sort of thing before. Not prophecies so much, but you'd be surprised how many people want to realign their ancestral lines to seem nobler, or rewrite their family history to remove more morally questionable episodes. He paused to recall a recent rewrite. One lord wanted the murderers removed from his family line. His family was so corrupt, he ended up with three virgin births, two generations removed entirely and a lady who gave birth at the age of two. Still, no one questions it as there is evidence in the archives. Bubo smugly tapped a book. There is one thing though, faking a prophecy in the past is easy, you already know the result. How will you make this come true in the future?I have someone in mind for it, but I'm not sure he'll go for it. But then prophecy is all optional anyway. Corvid looked up as if a thought had occurred to him. I'd best go check on my man, I've not met him yet.

~ Dylan Perry

Dylan Perry Fantasy Funny Humor Humour Laugh

I don't understand humans. Caradoc shook his head. It takes their brightest minds decades to plan an unmanned voyage to the nearest planet, which can take a year to travel each way. Yet they expect there to be aliens travelling distances it takes light decades to reach us, just for a weekend of bum fun with a total stranger without asking their permission, before dropping them off where they found them. They're just dying to believe the weirdest, least plausible things possible.

~ Dylan Perry

Dylan Perry Alien Fantasy Human Humor Humour Laugh Scifi

Staying relaxed was helping him cope with the drug induced juddering vision that could be best described as being like a Hitchcockian visual effect operated by a hyperactive squirrel that shook the whole universe closer and farther away. If you went with it, it was quite pleasant, as long as you didn't introduce any lateral movement like turning your head or the car. This caused the universe to try and slide away from underneath you. The other side effect was the constant feeling you ought to try to twist your head off, in a good way.

~ Dylan Perry

Dylan Perry Driving Drugs Fantasy Funny Hitchcock Humor Humour Urban

It was one of those decisions that shouldn't have been so easy to get so wrong. Go on your own or take the half wasted waif. She was wearing denim hotpants with a pink vest top, and was hanging off his arm, more for stability than closeness, so he propped her up against the wall next to the counter and reached inside his coat pocket for his badge. It was definitely his badge, he clearly remembered stealing it two years before whilst in California.

~ Dylan Perry

Dylan Perry Decisions Fantasy Hotpants Humor Stealing Urban Fantasy

These werewolves and the gwrgi are not like the American breed of werewolf. They are not part timers. They do not spend the one, full moon, night in every twenty eight as a wolf or wolf-man beast. They do not spend twenty eight days and twenty seven nights wandering round high school hallways and shopping malls filled with teenage angst about falling in love with the 'one'. They do not go to cool parties where everyone is half naked and waxed.When werewolves change that's it, seven years as a wolf. Gwrgi are stuck the way they are permanently and aren't so much a wolf with a large dollop of teenage heart throb mixed in, but more a wolf with a little too much stinky tramp mixed in.One folk legend is true. You can kill both werewolves and gwrgi by either shooting them through the heart with a silver bullet or by chopping their head off. But then, pretty much any animal can be killed by shooting them through the heart with a silver bullet or by chopping their head off. And if you're on a budget, the bullet probably doesn't even need to be silver.

~ Dylan Perry

Dylan Perry Fantasy Funny Humor Mythology Werewolves

At twenty years old, Michael had vague plans to make changes in his life, but turning blue whilst stood in a walk-in bath in an old people's home wasn't one of them. Usually boys of his age might consider changes along the lines of smoking less grass at home, at college or at work, to be a good idea. Or maybe spending less time on that solitary pursuit common to men of his age across the globe. Enjoyable though he found it, he was going to cut back on the procrastination, but that was going to have to wait.

~ Dylan Perry

Dylan Perry Drugs Funny Hobby Humor Men Procrastination
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