Many a man who falls in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
~ Evan Esar
Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.
Canada's climate is nine months winter and three months late in the fall.
Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.
Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.
Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.
