Jeff Lindsay Quotes

A man who discovers his pants are on fire tends to have very little time to worry about somebody else's box of matches

~ Jeff Lindsay

Doakes had a first name! It was Albert - had anyone ever really called him that? Unthinkable. I had assumed his name was Sergeant.

~ Jeff Lindsay

How bad could things be if my hair was neat?

~ Jeff Lindsay

This was just no fun. I wanted my brain back.

~ Jeff Lindsay

The mission sat in a converted store front on the corner of a medium-busy street. There was a small crowd gathered in front - no real surprise, since they gave out food and clothing, all all you had to do was spend a few moments of your life listening to the good reverend explain why you were going to Hell. It seemed like a pretty good bargain, even to me, but I wasn't hungry.

~ Jeff Lindsay

Life teaches us that human thought almost never walks hand in hand with logic, and it is usually counterproductive to raise the point.

~ Jeff Lindsay

Anybody can be charming if they don't mind faking it, saying all the stupid, obvious, nauseating things that a conscience keeps most people from saying. Happily, I don't have a conscience. I say them.

~ Jeff Lindsay

Always marveling at how New Age pseudo-philosophy had taken over the Internet.

~ Jeff Lindsay

And I was having too much fun to stop now.

~ Jeff Lindsay

Me, feeling. What a concept.

~ Jeff Lindsay

I mean, really: what kind of person could possibly dislike me?

~ Jeff Lindsay

I am not shy about admitting my modest talents. For example, I am happy to admit that I am better than average at clever remarks, and I also have a flair for getting people to like me. But to be perfectly fair to myself, I am ever-ready to confess my shortcomings, too, and a quick round of soul-searching forced me to admit that I had never been any good at all at breathing water. As I hung there from the seat belt, dazed and watching the water pour in and swirl around my head, this began to seem like a very large character flaw.

~ Jeff Lindsay

No blood at all. I could hear that phrase repeat itself in my head, louder each time. No sticky, hot, messy, awful blood. No splatter. NO BLOOD AT ALL. Why hadn't I thought of that?

~ Jeff Lindsay

Or was he saying, Hi! Wanna play?And I did. Of course I did.

~ Jeff Lindsay

I was good at being charming, one of my very few vanities.

~ Jeff Lindsay

My first true lesson in writing came from Mr. Bowden when I was 16. At my high school, he was the teacher known to be the very best at literature and writing.

~ Jeff Lindsay