Jeff Lindsay Quotes

But as I have noticed on more than one occaision, life itself is unfair, and there is no complaint department, so we might as well accept things the way they happen, clean up the mess, and move on.

~ Jeff Lindsay

They like to tell us that it is important to speak the truth, but it has been my experience that real happiness lies in having people tell you what you want to believe, usually not the same thing at all, and if you have to stub your toe on the truth later, so be it.

~ Jeff Lindsay

Hope is for people who can't see the Truth.

~ Jeff Lindsay

I am unlovable...I have tried to involve myself in other people, in relationships, and even - in my sillier moments - in love. But it doesn't work. Something in me is broken or missing and sooner or later the other person catches me Acting or one of Those Nights comes along.

~ Jeff Lindsay

She had searched for just the right guy; sensitive and gentle and willing to wait. Quite a long search, of course. She was looking for some imaginary man who cared more about having someone to talk to and see movies with than he needed to have sex, because she was just Not Ready for That. Did I say imaginary? Well yes. Human men are not like that.

~ Jeff Lindsay

Quirky, funny, happy-go-lucky dead inside Dexter. No longer Dexter with the knife, Dexter the Avenger. Not until next time.

~ Jeff Lindsay

The key to a happy life is to have accomplishments to be proud of and purpose to look forward to, and at the moment I had both. How wonderful it was to be me.

~ Jeff Lindsay

In that tremendous flash of freedom, on my way to do The Thing for the first time, sanctioned by Almighty Harry, I receded, faded back into the scenery of my own dark self, whole the other me crouched and growled. I would do It at last, do what I had been created to do. And I did.

~ Jeff Lindsay

It was such an unexpected and genuine smile that if I only had a soul I'm sure I would have felt quite guilty.

~ Jeff Lindsay

There are still very few laws against thinking, although I am sure they're working hard on that in Washington.

~ Jeff Lindsay

Have you noticed how difficult it is just to get along in the world? If you're no good at all in your job, people treat you badly and eventually you will be unemployed. And if you're a little better than competent, everyone expects miracles from you, every single time. Like most of life, it's a no-win situation. And if you dare to mention it, no matter how creatively you phrase your complaints, you are shunned as a whiner.

~ Jeff Lindsay

Money to me had always been merely something the sheep used to show each other how wonderful they were.

~ Jeff Lindsay

I had killed our careful relationship by driving my tongue through its heart and pushing it off a cliff.

~ Jeff Lindsay

I know family comes first, but shouldn't that mean after breakfast?

~ Jeff Lindsay

The mind picks some very bad times to take a walk doesn't it?

~ Jeff Lindsay

Perhaps it was only that I did not feel any crazier than I had ever felt. I did not notice any missing gray tissue, I did not seem to be thinking any slower or more strangely, and so far I’d had no conversations with invisible buddies that I was aware of. Except in my sleep, of course-and did that really count? Weren’t we all crazy in our sleep? What was sleep, after all, but the process by which we dumped our insanity into a dark subconscious pit and came out on the other side ready to eat cereal instead of the neighbor’s children?

~ Jeff Lindsay

Why bother inflicting enormous pain on yourself when sooner or later Life would certainly get around to doing it for you?

~ Jeff Lindsay

And as we should all know by now, anytime you predict failure you have an excellent chance of being right.

~ Jeff Lindsay

When faced with people who have very limited conversational skills and no apparent desire to cultivate any it's always easier to simply go along.

~ Jeff Lindsay

At some point, even the greatest misery begins to fade. Life, or what passes for life, plods on in it's own unending weary footsteps, and somehow we plod along with it, if we stay lucky.

~ Jeff Lindsay

And as always seems to happen when I have reached the point where I am ready to take decisive action, everything began to happen at once.

~ Jeff Lindsay

I think that's nice, and if I could have feelings at all I would have them for Deb.

~ Jeff Lindsay

A man can take only so much. Even a phony man like me.

~ Jeff Lindsay

Since I am not actually a real human being, my emotional responses are generally limited to what I have learned to fake.

~ Jeff Lindsay

For the first time I could remember, I felt weak, woozy and stupid— like a human-being. Like a very small and helpless human-being.

~ Jeff Lindsay

I had become a perfect fake human, saying the stupid and pointless things that humans say to each other all day long.

~ Jeff Lindsay

It was clear to me that it wouldn't matter what I did - they would never truly appreciate me or learn what I had to offer. They were far beyond fickle - they were insensible, like kittens,predatory little things, distracted by the first bit of string or shiny bauble that rolled across the floor, and nothing I could ever say or do could possibly make any kind of dent in their willful ignorance.

~ Jeff Lindsay

It really is better to be lucky than to be good.

~ Jeff Lindsay

Of course it was a terrible thing, and the world would be a much better place without someone in it who could do that, but did that mean we had to miss lunch?

~ Jeff Lindsay

Was insanity really easier to accept than unconsciousness?

~ Jeff Lindsay

In my life long study of human beings, I have found that no matter how hard they try, they have found no way yet to prevent the arrival of Monday morning. And they do try, of course, but Monday always comes, and all the drones have to scuttle back to their dreary workday lives of meaningless toin and suffering.

~ Jeff Lindsay

Feeling - what authentic human fun!

~ Jeff Lindsay

Rectory always sounded to me like a place you would find a proctologist.

~ Jeff Lindsay

It took me a moment. I blinked, and suddenly it swam into focus and I had to frown very hard to keep myself from giggling out loud like the schoolgirl Deb had accused me of being. Because he had arranged the arms and legs in letters, and the letters spelled out a single small word: BOO. The three torsos were carefully arranged below the BOO in a quarter-circle, making a cute little Halloween smile. What a scamp.

~ Jeff Lindsay

In its own way the kiss had been an act of murder.

~ Jeff Lindsay

What, in all very seriousness, the hell was going on?

~ Jeff Lindsay

Really now: If you can't get me my newspaper on time, how can you expect me to refrain from killing people?

~ Jeff Lindsay

It was almost enough to make me feel emotion.

~ Jeff Lindsay

Whatever made me the way I am left me hollow, empty inside, unable to feel. It doesn't seem like a big deal.

~ Jeff Lindsay

It's always me, isn't it? I'm not really a very nice person, but for some reason it's always me that they come to with their problems.

~ Jeff Lindsay