Mark Twain Quotes

There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency and a virtue and that to climb out of the rut is inconsistency and a vice.

~ Mark Twain

Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience - 4000 critics.

~ Mark Twain

The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.

~ Mark Twain

You can tell German wine from vinegar ... by the label.

~ Mark Twain

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.

~ Mark Twain

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.

~ Mark Twain

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And ain't that a big enough majority for any town?

~ Mark Twain

Grief can take care of itself but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

~ Mark Twain

I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.

~ Mark Twain

Habit is habit and not to be thrown out of the window by any man but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.

~ Mark Twain

Have a place for everything and keep the things somewheres else. That is not advice it is merely custom.

~ Mark Twain

We may not pay Satan reverence for that would be indiscreet but we can at least respect his talents.

~ Mark Twain

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

~ Mark Twain

The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up.

~ Mark Twain

I was born modest not all over but in spots.

~ Mark Twain

It takes your enemy and your friend working together to hurt you to the heart the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.

~ Mark Twain

Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

~ Mark Twain

Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.

~ Mark Twain

In statesmanship get formalities right never mind about the moralities.

~ Mark Twain

It is a wise child that knows its own father and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him.

~ Mark Twain

When I was a boy of fourteen my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.

~ Mark Twain

Make it a point to do something every day that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.

~ Mark Twain

It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

~ Mark Twain

Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

~ Mark Twain

Each man must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong which course is patriotic and which isn't. You cannot shirk this and be a man.

~ Mark Twain

The Creator made Italy with designs by Michelangelo.

~ Mark Twain

Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

~ Mark Twain

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

~ Mark Twain

We are chameleons and our partialities and prejudices change places with an easy and blessed facility.

~ Mark Twain

I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead Spenser is dead so is Milton so is Shakespeare and I'm not feeling so well myself.

~ Mark Twain

Get your facts first and then you can distort 'em as much as you please.

~ Mark Twain

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that but the really great make you feel that you too can become great.

~ Mark Twain

When we remember that we are all mad the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

~ Mark Twain

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

~ Mark Twain

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

~ Mark Twain

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.

~ Mark Twain

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

~ Mark Twain

Each man must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong which course is patriotic and which isn't. You cannot shirk this and be a man. To decide against your conviction is to be an unqualified and excusable traitor both to yourself and to your country let men label you as they may.

~ Mark Twain

Adam was the only man who when he said a good thing knew that nobody had said it before him.

~ Mark Twain

In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.

~ Mark Twain