Classy Quote logo
  • Home
  • Categories
  • Authors
  • Topics
  • Who said

Mark Twain Quotes

Mark Twain quote from classy quote

A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Books Humor

There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous andshallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what youknow ain't so'.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Faith Humor Wit

It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Humor Preparedness

Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Humor

In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain French Humor Irony Language

I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Humor Wit

If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Humor Politics

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Healthy Living Humor Revenge

The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Humor Mark Twain Sorrow

There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Philosophy

I have lived a long life and had many troubles, most of which never happened

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Inspirational Philosophy Self Awareness

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Lies Lying Memory Truth

A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Misattributed Mark Twain Truth

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Books Truth

The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Agnosticism Atheism Bible Christianity Mythology Truth

Herodotus says, Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all: the conscientious historian will correct these defects.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Creativity Historians History Truth

When ill luck begins, it does not come in sprinkles, but in showers.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Bad Luck Luck Truth

If a cat sits on a hot stove, that cat won't sit on a hot stove again. That cat won't sit on a cold stove either. That cat just don't like stoves.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Humor Life Truth

This nation is like all the others that have been spewed upon the earth--ready to shout for any cause that will tickle its vanity or fill its pocket. What a hell of a heaven it will be when they get all these hypocrites assembled there!- Letter to J. H. Twichell, 1/29/1901

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Humor Truth

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Individuality Majority Minority Pause Reflect Wisdom

In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Bookroom Books Libraries Wisdom

The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures, but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Inferiority Man Recovery Right Wisdom Wrong

Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket - which is but a matter of saying, Scatter your money and your attention; but the wise man saith, Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET. - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Wisdom

To believe yourself brave is to be brave, it is the one only essential thing.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Bravery Wisdom

Human nature is all alike.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Wisdom

Yes - en I's rich now, come to look at it. I owns myself, en I's wuth eight hund'd dollars. I wisht I had de money, I wouldn' want no mo'.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Jim Wisdom

A proof once established is better left so.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Wisdom

So I learned then, that gold in it's native state is but dull, unornamental stuff, and that only low-born metals excite the admiration of the ignorant with an ostentatious glitter. However, like the rest of the world, I still go underrating men of gold and glorifying men of mica. Commonplace human nature cannot rise above that.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Wisdom

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Happiness Sanity

But it is a blessed provision of nature that at times like these, as soon as a man's mercury has got down to a certain point there comes a revulsion, and he rallies. Hope springs up, and cheerfulness along with it, and then he is in good shape to do something for himself, if anything can be done.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Cheer Determination Grit Hope Will

Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Death Life

I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Death Humor

I lost Susy thirteen years ago; I lost her mother--her incomparable mother!--five and a half years ago; Clara has gone away to live in Europe and now I have lost Jean. How poor I am, who was once so rich! . . . Jean lies yonder, I sit here; we are strangers under our own roof; we kissed hands good-by at this door last night--and it was forever, we never suspecting it. She lies there, and I sit here--writing, busying myself, to keep my heart from breaking. How dazzling the sunshine is flooding the hills around! It is like a mockery. Seventy-four years ago twenty-four days. Seventy-four years old yesterday. Who can estimate my age today?

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Death Grief

Yes, King Edward VI lived only a few years, poor boy, but he lived them worthily.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Death Life

I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read Pride and Prejudice I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Austen Criticism Reading Writing

My books are water, those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Books Writing

Write what you know.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Writing

Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain On Writing Writing

A man who is not born with the novel-writing gift has a troublesome time of it when he tries to build a novel. I know this from experience. He has no clear idea of his story; in fact he has no story. He merely has some people in his mind, and an incident or two, also a locality, and he trusts he can plunge those people into those incidents with interesting results. So he goes to work. To write a novel? No--that is a thought which comes later; in the beginning he is only proposing to tell a little tale, a very little tale, a six-page tale. But as it is a tale which he is not acquainted with, and can only find out what it is by listening as it goes along telling itself, it is more than apt to go on and on and on till it spreads itself into a book. I know about this, because it has happened to me so many times.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Writing

One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke.

~ Mark Twain

Mark Twain Advice Clever Exclamation Point Writing
Load More classy quote icon
  • Classy Quote

    ClassyQuote has been providing 500000+ famous quotes from 40000+ popular authors to our worldwide community.

  • Other Pages

    • About Us
    • Contact Us
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
  • Our Products

    • Chrome Extention
    • Microsoft Edge Add-on
  • Follow Us

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
Copyright © 2025 ClassyQuote. All rights reserved.