Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. If you feel the need to marry a doctor I suggest a dermatologist. Good hours free Retin-A.
Most men are secretly still mad at their mothers for throwing away their comic books. They would be valuable now.
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.