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Robert Clark Quotes

Robert Clark quote from classy quote

When asked why I don't believe in God I reply, quite simply, vaginas.

~ Robert Clark

Robert Clark Homosexuality Humour Religion Women

Always buy pornographic books in hardback because they're easier to hold with one hand.

~ Robert Clark

Robert Clark Books Humour Masturbation

People tell me I shouldn't smoke because it is makes you look like a tit. I use exactly the same argument when people tell me they go to the gym.

~ Robert Clark

Robert Clark Epigrams Humour Smoking

Above all others I pity the homeless: where can they go to masturbate?

~ Robert Clark

Robert Clark Homelessness Humour Masturbation

The government are tightening up on ID for sales of tobacco and alcohol so I recommend that young people take more drugs.

~ Robert Clark

Robert Clark Drugs Humour Laws

I think Amy Winehouse's decision not to go to rehab was a bad one. In fact, I think it was the worst idea since Dodi Al Fayed said to Princess Diana, Ooh, look! A tunnel! Whack that seat belt off and let's have a fuck.

~ Robert Clark

Robert Clark Addiction Amy Winehouse Epigrams Humour Princess Diana

I have always been homosexual and it surprises me that more people are not, women's pink bits are moist and forbidding and I enjoy those qualities much more in a Victoria sponge.

~ Robert Clark

Robert Clark Homosexuality Humour Women

Yes, you may ask my name but only if you can tell me: are your thighs as fine as a fresh, crisp morning in early July?

~ Robert Clark

Robert Clark Humour Sex

Delia Smith needs to realise that when Nigella flirts with the camera she comes across as a slut. When Delia does it she comes across as an old slut.

~ Robert Clark

Robert Clark Delia Smith Humour Nigella Lawson

I will now sing another song for your pleasure. Now, if you like Phil Collins...you should be shot in the head.

~ Robert Clark

Robert Clark Epigrams Humour Phil Collins

I was very surprised when last I bought a packet of cigarettes and had to request a refund as I read a warning that told me smoking can cause fatal lung cancer.

~ Robert Clark

Robert Clark Health Humour Smoking

I am with the Hot Sexy Banking Corporation. As all the other banks are going bust, they are just getting bustier.

~ Robert Clark

Robert Clark Banking Banks Humour

I am completely opposed to the British National Party, I couldn't possibly support people who find fluorescent yellow flyers appealing.

~ Robert Clark

Robert Clark Bnp Politics
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