College Quotes

I've asked around and haven't found a B.A. yet who doesn't still have nightmares (and I don't speak figuratively) about not being able to find the room where the exam is to be given or about realizing at the last moment that he has not once attended the course.

~ Elizabeth Savage

President Obama smoked so much pot in college he never learned to spell. Which is why he's confusing the word ruining the country with running the country.

~ Kilburn Hall

There are three types of student: The golden student pays and loans, the silver student pays but does not learn, the bronze student learns but does not pay.

~ J.c. Mckeown

Stop Dieting...Start Eating CUte

~ Alexandra Catalano

Don't ever let anyone tell you that college is for smart people. College eats smart people alive.

~ Hannah Moskowitz

College is a different scene than it was ten years ago. It used to be all about sex and drugs. Now it’s all about texting and fast food.

~ Aaron B. Powell

The style of flirtation specific to classrooms was of service to the students all their lives.

~ Renata Adler

College is a blossoming new world of genital opportunity.

~ Thomm Quackenbush

Ah, group projects. Some people love 'em, some people hate 'em - okay, most people hate 'em. Your grade now depends on other people whom you may never have met before, and you've somehow got to do the impossible: find some time when a bunch of super-busy high school or college students can actually meet in person.

~ Stefanie Weisman

The college diploma has no more power to hold the knowledge you have gained in college than a piece of tissue paper over a gas jet can hold the gas in the pipe.

~ Orison Swett Marden

In my freshman and sophomore years of college, I read dozens of books by the great thinkers of Western civilization. From Plato to Nietzsche, Homer to Shakespeare - you name it, I read it. At times it drove me crazy - picture reading hundreds of pages that sound like this every week: All rational knowledge is either material and concerned with some object, or formal and concerned only with the form of understanding and of reason themselves and with the universal rules of thought in general without regard to differences of its objects. Come again, Kant?

~ Stefanie Weisman

It was a running joke; everyone was aware of how ridiculous the rumor mill was, and yet they all shamelessly participated in it.

~ Jamie Mcguire

Maybe we were being a bit unrealistic, but we had this hope that if we could just get into the Ivy League, everything would be set. We dreamed of Gothic libraries and leafy green quads and romantic dorms with fireplaces and guys who were not only cute but also smart and charming, and, quite possibly, British. In college, we believed, we’d finally find our people.

~ Sarah Strohmeyer

You have a college degree? You can barely talk.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

It is good for a student to be poor. Getting and spending, the typical American college student lays waste his powers. Work and contemplation don't mix, and university days ought to be days of contemplation.

~ Russell Kirk

This is not hyperbole. It is possible for the average professor to have been taught by leftists, grown up in a left-leaning city, read only left-leaning books, entertained by leftists in pop culture and became a professor without holding a job outside academia. How can we expect these professors to adequately explain what people who oppose them believe?

~ Lee Doren

In my parents' day and age, it used to be the person who fell short. Now it's the discipline. Reading the classics is too difficult, therefore it's the classics that are to blame. Today the student asserts his incapacity as a privilege. I can't learn it, so there is something wrong with it. And there is something especially wrong with the bad teacher who wants to teach it. There are no more criteria, Mr. Zuckerman, only opinions.

~ Philip Roth

...the most important thing you must remember when dealing with a politically biased professor is to be friendly.

~ Lee Doren

And now life has become the future. Every moment of your life is lived for the future-you go to high school so you can go to college so you can get a good job so you can get a nice house so you can't afford to send your kids to college so they can get a good job so they can get a nice house so they can afford to send their kids to college.

~ John Green

Going to college don't make you from somewhere, any more than a cat born in an over can call itself a biscuit.

~ Laura Lippman

College mostly makes people like bladders—just good for nothing but t’ hold the stuff as is poured into ‘em.

~ George Eliot

I used to think all that game playing was par for the course and even kind of exciting. It just felt logical to pursue a boy the same way I applied to college—by expending exorbitant time and energy showing what a great catch I am and what a perfect match we’d be, so that after a lengthy waiting period I might get accepted. But now the idea of reliving any version of that charade seems like hell.

~ Daria Snadowsky

I was not use to that kind of hunger, even as a poor college student.

~ Julie Wenzel

If you are going to start, don't quit. But if you are going to quit, don't even start!

~ Hannah Sulfridge

Everybody had to go to some college or other. A business college, a junior college, a state college, a secretarial college, an Ivy League college, a pig farmer's college. The book first, then the work.

~ Sylvia Plath

We kinda look at this as the second or third chapter of our lives. After college, most people figure out what they want to do with their lives. But we already know what we want to do in the future and that is to continue to further our business goals.

~ Mary-Kate Olsen

I think the world is ambivalent about feminism. So I can't blame college students. I think they're reflecting the greater culture's attitude toward feminism. So what I can do is, in ways that are appropriate, advocate for feminism and help the students learn what feminism is about.

~ Roxane Gay

One by one, all of my college buddies had taken these nothing-special entry-level jobs, pushing papers for $18,000 or $21,000 a year (and hating the work besides), and I'd turn up my nose and tell them I wasn't about to get out of bed for anything less than $50,000. That was my line, my attitude.

~ Bill Rancic

Almost every college playwright or sketch or improv comedian was sort of aware of Christopher Durang - even kids in high school. His short plays were so accessible to younger people and I think that was inspirational to me.

~ Mindy Kaling

Believe it or not, lots of people change their majors and abandon their dreams just to avoid a couple of math classes in college.

~ Danica Mckellar

In high school, I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in - and I never went.

~ Bo Burnham

When I look back over my life it's almost as if there was a plan laid out for me - from the little girl who was so passionate about animals who longed to go to Africa and whose family couldn't afford to put her through college. Everyone laughed at my dreams. I was supposed to be a secretary in Bournemouth.

~ Jane Goodall

When I give speeches at college, I don't tell stories, I talk about what it is to live your dreams and take the path less traveled.

~ Tucker Max

When I was at college, the idea of fashion was more immediate to me, whereas art photography, the depth of it, was a different thing. Storytelling - fanciful storytelling - can only be told through fashion photography. It's the perfect way to play with fantasy and dreams.

~ Tim Walker

Everybody in my family had a real sick, twisted sense of humor. Most of the jokes we make in our house, we would just never even dream of making anywhere else. Just sick, horrible stuff. That wasn't anything new to college.

~ Seth Macfarlane

I often have said that to be a college president, you need a thick skin, a good sense of humor, and nerves like sewer pipes.

~ Gordon Gee

The last game I played in college was in the NIT against St. Mary's. That was the first time I had come to the Oakland area. So, the last game I played in college and the first game of my NBA career were out here in the Bay Area. It's pretty cool.

~ Stephen Curry

I went to Northwestern because I had gone to a really nontraditional high school. I was like, 'It'd be cool to have a traditional college experience.' Then I was like, 'Oh, but none of these people understand what's cool about me. My specialness is not appreciated in this place.'

~ Zooey Deschanel

In college - while figuring the things out that most people do in college - I had no game. No confidence. I had Birkenstocks. And overalls. A budding romance novel addiction. But no cool. No poise. I was trying on a thousand different personalities, but a lot of them were formed by the perceptions of others.

~ Molly O'keefe

I learned mime back when I was in college, at Ball State University, Indiana. That woke up my body from the neck down and made me realize that acting and communication - portraying a story, event, or emotion - is a full-body experience.

~ Doug Jones