Susan Elizabeth Phillips Quotes

When male authors write love stories, the heroine tends to end up dead.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Pride had kept her running when love had betrayed her.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I finally figured out that not every crisis can be managed. As much as we want to keep ourselves safe, we can't protect ourselves from everything. If we want to embrace life, we also have to embrace chaos.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Did you eat my Twinkies?She gulped. Keeping her eyes glued to the whip, she said, Exactly what Twinkies are we talking about?The Twinkies in the cupboard over the sink. The only Twinkies in the trailer. His fingers convulsed around the coils of leather.Oh, Lord, she thought. Flayed to death for a Twinkle.Well?It, uh — it won't happen again, I promise you. But they didn't have any special marking on them, so there was no way I could tell they were yours. Her eyes remained riveted on the whip. And normally I wouldn't have eaten them— I never eat junk food-—but I was hungry last night, and, well, when you think about it, you'll have to admit I did you a favor because they're clogging my arteries now instead of yours.His voice was quiet. Too quiet. In her mind she heard the howl of a rampaging Cossack baying at a Russian moon. Don't touch my Twinkies. Ever. If you want Twinkies, buy your own.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Disagreements over money are the biggest cause of divorce.She waved her hand. Absolutely no problem. Your money is our money. My money is my money. She wrote away.I should make you negotiate with Phoebe.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I happen to be immature, undisciplined, and self-centered, pretty much a little boy in a man's body, although I'd appreciate it if you didn't quote me on that.-Bobby Tom

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

You couldn't be satisfied with being an amateur asshole, could you, Jimbo! You had to go and turn pro on me!

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

You never get mad,” she said when their server left the table. “Except at me.”“That’s not true,” he said tightly. “Torie can get me going.”“Torie doesn’t count. You were obviously her mother in a previous life.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

He shook his head. The next time I hear a women going on about how neurotic men are, I'm going to remember this. You tell me you like my body, and what do I say? I say, thank you. Then I tell you I like yours and what do I hear? A long lists of grievances.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

She threw up her hands. All right. Why not? Why not? Sure. His arms fell to his sides. That's it? I pour my heart out. I love you so much I've got freakin' tears in my eyes. And all I get in return is 'Why not'? What did you expect? Am I supposed to fall all over you just because you've finally come to your senses? Would it be too much to ask?...He'd begun to glare at her again, his eyes growing stormier by the minute.When do you think you might be ready? To fall all over me, that is.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

You know that we've got a few problems we need to talk through before we get married.I'm not getting rid of Pooh.See, there you go being antagonistic. Marriage means learning to compromise.I didn't say I wouldn't compromise. I promise to take the ribbon out of her topknot before you walk her.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Now, this is where I draw the line! It's bad enough everybody in town's going to be thinkin' I'm sleeping with a depressed, lice-ridden, hemorrhoidal foreigner who likes to be tied up and might be pregnant, although-since she's just about cornered the market on condoms-I don't know how that could have happened. But I will not-you listen to me, Emma!-I absolutely will not have anybody thinkin' a woman of mine needs a vaginal moisturizer, do you hear me?

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

The engine roared to life. He ran toward her. She shot our of her parking space. He rushed to the side of her car. Stop it, Kristy! You're overreacting! Let's talk about this. That was when she did the unthinkable. She rolled down the window, thrust out her hand, and gave Reverend Ethan Bonner the bird.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Do you really expect me to fall apart every time another woman throws herself at you? Because, if that's so, I'll be a nervous wreck before the honeymoon's over. Although, if they do it in front of me...He went still. Did you just propose to me?She bristled. Do you have a problem with that?The scoreboard lit up, and he gave the world a high five. God, I love you.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

So, Beav, tell me about yourself.I'm Blue.Sweetheart, if I had your dubious taste in men, I wouldn't be too happy, either.My name is Blue. Blue Bailey.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

[Bobby Tom] finally understood Gracie's function in his life. She was God's joke on him.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

He grinned, and right then it occurred to him that he hadn't enjoyed himself so much with a woman in a very long time. If Annabelle Granger were a few inches taller, a hell of a lot more sophisticated, better organized, less bossy, and more inclined to worship at his feet, she'd have made a perfect wife.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Life sure is easier when you're rich.And a natural born charmer. Don't forget that part.How could I? she retorted. It's the only thing we have in common.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

You try spending six months sitting at somebody's bedside, waiting for them to die and then tell me that the happy-ending love story isn't one of God's good gifts.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I paid you five thousand instead and promised the balance only if you made the match. As it turns out, this is your lucky day because I've decided to write you the full check, whether the match comes from you or from Portia. As long as I have a wife and you've been part of the process, you'll get your money. He toasted her with his beer mug. Congratulations.She put down her fork. Why would you do that?Because it's efficient.Not as efficient as having Powers handle her own introductions. You're paying her a fortune to do exactly that.I'd rather have you.Her pulse kicked. Why?He gave her the melty smile he must have been practicing since the cradle, one that made her feel as though she was the only woman in the world. Because you're easier to bully. Do we have a deal or not?You don't want a matchmaker. You want a lackey.Semantics. My hours are erratic, and my schedule changes without warning. It'll be your job to cope with all that. You'll soothe ruffled feathers when I need to cancel at the last minute. You'll keep my dates company when I'm going to be late, entertain them if I have to take a call. If things are going well, you'll disappear. If not, you'll make the woman disappear. I told you before. I work hard at my job. I don't want to have to work hard at this, too.Basically, you expect me to find your bride, court her, and hand her over at the altar. Or do I have to come on the honeymoon, too?Definitely not. He gave her a lazy smile. I can take care of that all by myself.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

She's as plastic as you are! I'm telling you, it's a bad idea. If the two of you have kids, they'll come out of the birth canal with Fisherprice stamped on their butts!

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

What New York City football team did Joe Namath play for?The New York City Yankees!A roar of laughter went up from the crowd, accompanied by more than a few loud groans. Bobby Tom silenced them all with a glare. At the same time, the glitter in his eyes dared any of them to contradict her.When he was certain every person there understood his message, he turned back to Gracie and gathered her into his arms. With a tender look and a gentle brush of his lips, he said, Exactly right, sweetheart. I had no idea you knew so much about football.And that was how every last person in Telarosa, Texas, came to understand that Bobby Tom Denton had finally and forever fallen head over heels in love.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Uhm, Kevin...Be quiet, or I swear to God I'll take you right here.Yes, this was definitely Forced Sex..

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

sometimes knowing when to give up is the real test of character...-annabelle granger

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Ironic, isn't it, what religion does to people?I guess it's more ironic what people do to religion.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Something snapped inside her. “Of course I’m afraid! Relationships do bad things to me.” He started to respond, but the pain had gone on long enough, and she didn’t want to hear it. “You know what I want? I want peace. I want a good job and a decent place to live. I want to read books and listen to music and have time to make some female friendships that are going to last. When I wake up in the morning, I want to know that I have a decent shot at being happy. And here’s what’s really sad. Until I met you, I was almost there.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I guess we're oil and water. (Phoebe)I'd say we're more like gasoline and a blowtorch. (Dan)

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

This is America. We’re entitled to our opinions.”“Wrong. This is Texas. And my opinion is the only one that counts.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Colin : “Perhaps now is the time to tell you that I have a weakness for agreeable women.”Sugar Beth : “Well, that sure does leave me out.”Colin : “Exactly. With agreeable women, I’m unendingly considerate. Gallant even.”Sugar Beth : “But with tarts like me, the gloves are off, is that it?”Colin : “I wouldn’t exactly call you a tart. But then, I tend to be broad-minded.”She suppressed the urge to dump her porridge in his lap.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I can’t chitchat and make breakfast at the same time. You could help, you know, instead of standing there like the Queen of England. Although you’re a lot better-looking.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

As far as I'm concerned, men like you were put on this world to entertain women like me.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I take thee... to be my awful wedded husband

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

If I could put my brain in her body, the world would be mine for the taking.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

If you 're serious about getting it on again, be sure to give me some advance notice, so I can grab my appointment calendar and block out three minutes.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

He tunneled his dirty hands through her hair and kissed her breathless. Her neck, her eyes, the corners of her mouth. He kissed her lips as if his life depended on it. Kissed their future into her. All they could have and all they could be.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

His writer's words poured over her like poetry, and she couldn't find a single wisecrack to put up between them.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

I sure do miss that woman. Smart. Funny. Sweet. She never gave me a moment's trouble.Gosh, I'm sorry about that. I knew it was boring between you two, but not that bad.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Throughout the course of the day, Bobby Tom's irritation over his artificially oiled and dirt-smeared chest and his unzipped jeans had flared into righteous indignation. They were treating him like a sex object! It was damned demeaning, that's what it was, being reduced to a set of oil pecs and a tight ass. Shit. A dozen years in the NFL, and this was what it had all come down to. Pecs and ass.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

He gave Dancer one last pat. 'You're luckier than you know, pal. Living without a set of balls makes life a lot less complicated.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips

This is a perfect example of how entirely out of hand the women in this country have gotten. You act like men aren't anything more than extraneous amusements, little toys to keep you entertained.

~ Susan Elizabeth Phillips