He put on his hat and wrapped his scarf around his jaw, but did without the wig and the sunglasses. He clicked his key chain and the car beeped and the doors locked.That's it?He looked up. Sorry?Aren't you afraid it might get stolen? We're not exactly in a good part of town.It's got a car alarm.Don't you, like, cast a spell or something? To keep it safe?No. It's a pretty good car alarm.

~ Derek Landy

Derek Landy Funny Skulduggery Skulduggery Pleasant

I need a weapon,” Valkyrie muttered.“You’re an Elemental with a Necromancer ring, trained ina variety of martial arts by some of the best fighters in the world,” Skulduggery pointed out. “I’m fairly certain that makes you a weapon.”“I mean a weapon you hold. You have a gun, Tanith has a sword... I want a stick.”“I’ll buy you a stick for Christmas.

~ Derek Landy

Derek Landy Christmas Humour Skulduggery Stick Weapon

It was a trap. It was so obviously a trap.Darquesse smiled.

~ Derek Landy

Derek Landy Don T Even Care Humour I Want Skulduggery Trap Wow

I love stories with a happy ending,” Inspector Me said.

~ Derek Landy

Derek Landy Happy Inspector Me Skulduggery

Violence?Skulduggery said. Violence is never the answer, until it's the only answer.

~ Derek Landy

Derek Landy Skulduggery The Answer The Only One She Ever Feared The Question True Violence

Do you think we’ll be waiting long?” Valkyrie asked,keeping her voice low.“The last time we were in this building, we accused theGrand Mage of being a traitor,” Skulduggery said. “Yes, I thinkwe’ll be waiting long.

~ Derek Landy

Derek Landy Skulduggery Traitor Waiting