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Chris Rock Quotes

Chris Rock quote from classy quote

You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, that’s right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars… five thousand dollars per bullet… You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thousand dollars there would be no more innocent bystanders. Yeah! Every time somebody get shut we’d say, ‘Damn, he must have done something ... Shit, he’s got fifty thousand dollars worth of bullets in his ass.’And people would think before they killed somebody if a bullet cost five thousand dollars. ‘Man I would blow your fucking head off…if I could afford it.’ ‘I’m gonna get me another job, I’m going to start saving some money, and you’re a dead man. You’d better hope I can’t get no bullets on layaway.’So even if you get shot by a stray bullet, you wouldn't have to go to no doctor to get it taken out. Whoever shot you would take their bullet back, like I believe you got my property.

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock Bullets Gun Control Humor

Women need food, water, and complimentsThat's right.And an occasional pair of shoes.

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock Shoes Women

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock Humor Women

Wealth is not about having a lot of money, it's about having a lot of options.

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock Money Options Wealth

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock Black Comedy Race Racism Society

Men are as faithful as their options.

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock Fidelity Men

Men lie the most,women tell the biggest lies.

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock Lie Lies Men Women

You got a gun, you don't have to work out.

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock Chris Rock Comedy Guns

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near forty.

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock Age Women

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everyone else.

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock Gay Miserable People

If a homeless person has a funny sign, he hasn't been homeless for that long. A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny.

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock Funny Funny Sign Homeless Homeless Person Hungry Long Person Real Sign Too Hungry

A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock Marriage Great Long

Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock People Black Four

There's some downsides to being famous, which are not even worth mentioning. But to combat the bad sides of being famous, you really should take advantage of the good sides. The good sides are, you can use that fame to get projects you might not normally get.

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock Good Fame You

Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock People You Sometimes

I love being famous. It's almost like being white.

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock Love White Like

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock Funny Life Women

I think my best work is when I'm kind of in charge.

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock Work Think Kind

The thing that surprised me the most is just how much money women that weren't rich were paying for their hair. When you're in a beauty parlor in Harlem next to abandoned buildings and somebody's paying five grand for a weave, that's a bit much.

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock Money Women Hair

President of the United States is you know, our boss, so you know, the President and the First Lady are kinda like the Mom and the Dad of the country. And when your Dad says something you listen.

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock Boss Know You

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock Taxes Pay You

I have no idea what my best material is. Different people like different things. I'll say this: The political stuff gets the press, but the relationship jokes sell all the seats.

~ Chris Rock

Chris Rock Best Political People
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