Claire Lazebnik Quotes

He can’t ground her if he’s already killed her,” I pointed out when Juliana quoted this to me. “Well, he can, but it wouldn’t have the same impact.

~ Claire Lazebnik

No one's family is normal. Normalcy is a lie invented by advertising agencies to make the rest of us feel inferior.

~ Claire Lazebnik

Well I'm not going to hope that you get hurt, but if you do, remember that you're my damsel in distress, and no one is allowed to carry you.I don't remember signing a contract.All the more reason to promise me now.What if you're not around when I get hurt?Send word, I`ll come running.How big an injury does it have to be? Because sometimes I do this thing when I stand up too quickly and my ankle kind of twists a little---Sounds serious. You don't want to put any weight on that. I`d better carry you the next time that happens.What if I skin my knee?I`ll carry you.Charley horse?I`ll carry you.Chipped toenail?Not worth taking a risk. I`ll carry you.

~ Claire Lazebnik

I just called you corny and said you were wearing a green dress. That's, like, the least flirtatious thing anyone's ever

~ Claire Lazebnik

Why are you asking me? I'm seventeen and don't know anything about what to do when you're autistic and gay.

~ Claire Lazebnik

Okay. I've got one. Do you think Pluto should still be considered an actual planet in its own right?Much better. And yes, I do. I had to memorize the planets when I was in third grade, and it was one of them, and I don't like having to relearn things.

~ Claire Lazebnik

Every guy seems nice until he’s not.

~ Claire Lazebnik