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Robert Benchley Quotes

Robert Benchley quote from classy quote

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

~ Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley Bleeding Funny Humor Opera Stabbed

The only cure for a real hangover is death.

~ Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley Death Drinking Hangovers

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

~ Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley Fame Writing

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.

~ Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley Humor Writing

There are two kinds of travel: first class and with children.

~ Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley Children Travel

Streets flooded. Please advise.

~ Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley Telegram Travel Venice

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

~ Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley Animals Dogs Pets

The problem of what to wear while lolling about the house on a Sunday afternoon is becoming more and more acute as the fashions in lolling garments change. The American home is in danger of taking on the appearance of an Oriental bordello.

~ Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley Fashion Lolling

Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini.

~ Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley Eat Drink Merry

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

~ Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley Professions Work

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.

~ Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley Worry People Will

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.

~ Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley Family Real Try

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

~ Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley Myself Slow Know

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

~ Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley Children Child Small

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

~ Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley Afraid You Will

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

~ Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley Children America First

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

~ Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley Language Drawing

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

~ Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley Why You Wet

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

~ Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley Great Know Nothing
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