College Quotes

When I got to college, the fake ID thing wasn't that important, since pretty much everyone could get away with drinking in New Orleans. But the drugs, well, that was a different story altogether, because drugs are every bit as illegal in New Orleans as anywhere else--at least, if you're black and poor, and have the misfortune of doing your drugs somewhere other than the dorms at Tulane University. But if you are lucky enough to be living at Tulane, which is a pretty white place, especially contrasted with the city where it's located, which is 65 percent black, then you are absolutely set.

~ Tim Wise

I go back to Oberlin in the dead of winter to give a convocation speech in Finney Chapel, the largest and most historic of campus structures. In a subconscious nod to my college experience I forget to pack both tights and underwear and have to spend the weekend going commando in a wool skirt and knee socks. I am toured around the school like a stranger by a girl who didn't even go here. We stop at a glossy new cafe for tea and scones. She asks if I want a tour of the dormitories- no, I just want to wander around alone and maybe cry.

~ Lena Dunham

When I worked in astronomy, I routinely observed young college and university students working with liquid nitrogen and breathing nitrogen gas as they discharged it into the indoor environment at high altitude.

~ Steven Magee

The appearance of Professor Benjamin Peirce, whose long gray hair, straggling grizzled beard and unusually bright eyes sparkling under a soft felt hat, as he walked briskly but rather ungracefully across the college yard, fitted very well with the opinion current among us that we were looking upon a real live genius, who had a touch of the prophet in his make-up.

~ William Elwood Byerly

Eventually the real world intruded again, and Sophie had to return to campus—woefully behind on homework, but incandescently in love.

~ Molly Ringle

And all those things you listed right now, they’rethings Garrett and I do together. Dude, you don’t want me. You want me andGarrett.

~ Elle Kennedy

someone like Grace. Someone exactly like Grace, with her Ted Bundy rantsand her calming presence and—hello, irony.

~ Elle Kennedy

I broke up with her to avoid getting into a serious relationship with her, and now it

~ Elle Kennedy

I should move away from his touch. But he’s a constant storm in my life, clouding my head, ensuring I make bad decisions. He doesn’t do it on purpose, he knows we’re not good for each other, but there’s something about us that makes us fight back harder, thinking we can overcome it.

~ Brittany Butler

His eyes are a hazy swirl ofgray, like a thick mass of clouds gathering before an impending storm

~ Elle Kennedy

So on a scale of one to Adele, how bad was this breakup?

~ Jennifer Lane

Don't think about that. Just believe I'll be okay.

~ Shane K. Morgan

I’m a fan of Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Brunette and doesn’t mind a guy that’s an animal? Hell yeah.

~ Magan Vernon

When he flashed that rockin’ smile of his again, I couldn’t help but think that me being cute was what might be crossing his mind. Then again, maybe he thought I was a dumbass. Either way, he smiled, which was good enough for me. - Ariel

~ Victoria H. Smith

He gazed deeply into my eyes. Placing his hand to my cheek, he caressed my skin with his fingertips. “Ariel, you have a strength that cannot be hindered by anything. A strength that I admire greatly.” - Luca

~ Victoria H. Smith

It is not easy to find someone your size once the Freshman Fifteen turns to the Sophomore Forty or the Senior Sixty. Even when, through some miracle of self-restraint and bulimia, college girls managed to continue to have feminine bodies, so many of these tacky sluts have never heard word one about what fashion entails.

~ Thomm Quackenbush

As though I had displeased the gods with my erotic hubris, I managed to be the only bisexual girl in the history of colleges who failed to arouse the interest of the campus queers immediately upon setting foot in the dorms.

~ Valentine Glass

How could he encapsulate in a pithy admissions-interview line all of his unique ideas and interests?

~ Alexandra Robbins

College is fun as long as you don't die.

~ Tsugumi Ohba

College isn't half as much fun as they told us it was going to be.It's not one-hundredth as much fun.

~ Molly Ringle

Oh, hell no! I yell at them. They are not about to negotiate as to whether they get to see my goods. Denton, I swear to God, if you come over here, I am sending you anthrax in the mail!

~ Angeline Kace

I can say little more than I have studied, and that question's out of my part.

~ William Shakespeare

Schools and universities are (as in a body) the noble and vital parts, which being vigorous and sound send good blood and active spirits into the veins and arteries, which cause health and strength; or, if feeble or ill-affected, corrupt all the vital parts; whereupon grow diseases, and in the end, death itself.

~ Thomas Hughes

A lonely person on a college campus is never more than a few minutes and a bad decision from company.

~ Thomm Quackenbush

A university is just a group of buildings gathered around a library.

~ Shelby Foote

You can’t learn to write in college. It’s a very bad place for writers because the teachers always think they know more than you do—and they don’t. They have prejudices. They may like Henry James, but what if you don’t want to write like Henry James? They may like John Irving, for instance, who’s the bore of all time. A lot of the people whose work they’ve taught in the schools for the last thirty years, I can’t understand why people read them and why they are taught. The library, on the other hand, has no biases. The information is all there for you to interpret. You don’t have someone telling you what to think. You discover it for yourself.

~ Ray Bradbury

Molly. I have an opportunity for you.”“An opportunity?” I repeated, without enthusiasm. Oh, good. Next comes the part where he tells me to be a “team player” and then dumps some tedious task on me.“It’s a chance for you to show that you can be a team player,” Bill Vogel said.

~ Frankie Bow

I couldn’t bring myself to call him either “Bill,” which would signal friendly familiarity, or “Doctor Vogel,” which would imply respect.

~ Frankie Bow

Oh, why does college have to happen to perfectly good people?

~ Rick Riordan

uh, yeah, I love...worms Classic. Someone should record the gold that flows from my mouth.

~ Rachel Van Dyken

But in college, we can wear our alcohol abuse as proudly as our university sweatshirts; the two concepts are virtually synonymous.

~ Koren Zailckas

Fortunately, our colleges and universities are fully cognizant of the problems I have been delineating and take concerted action to address them. Curricula are designed to give coherence to the educational experience and to challenge students to develop a strong degree of moral awareness. Professors, deeply involved with the enterprise of undergraduate instruction, are committed to their students' intellectual growth and insist on maintaining the highest standards of academic rigor. Career services keep themselves informed about the broad range of postgraduate options and make a point of steering students away from conventional choices. A policy of noncooperation with U.S. News has taken hold, depriving the magazine of the data requisite to calculate its rankings. Rather than squandering money on luxurious amenities and exorbitant administrative salaries, schools have rededicated themselves to their core missions of teaching and the liberal arts. I'm kidding, of course.

~ William Deresiewicz

But if you tell folks you're a college student, folks are so impressed. You can be a student in anything and not have to know anything. Just say toxicology or marine biokinesis, and the person you're talking to will change the subject to himself. If this doesn't work, mention the neural synapses of embryonic pigeons.

~ Chuck Palahniuk

Usually when you ask somebody in college why they are there, they'll tell you it's to get an education. The truth of it is, they are there to get the degree so that they can get ahead in the rat race. Too many college radicals are two-timing punks. The only reason you should be in college is to destroy it.

~ Abbie Hoffman

You're sure your new roommate won't be like the last one who wore tinfoil socks and had a tendency to occasionally urinate in the refrigerator. You're sure you'll pass Math 106 this time around. You're determined to actually join some clubs this year and not just sit around in your dorm eating spray cheese from a can and watching youtube videos about cats.

~ Patrick Rothfuss

What does all this mean finally, I kept asking like a college kid. Why does it make me want to cry? Maybe it’s that we are all outsiders, we are all making our own unusual way through a wilderness ofnormality that is just a myth.

~ Anne Rice

High school parties exhausted me because I always felt like I was the only thinking person in a room mostly full of morons obliterating precious IQ points with every gulp of whatever booze they managed to steal out of their parents' liquor cabinets. College parties are exhausting in a diametrically opposite way. They are full of smart, funny people who are all used to being the smartest, funniest person in the room, so they spend the whole party talking over one another, overlapping and overtaking the conversation to prove that they are the smartest, funniest person in the room, if not the entire planet.

~ Megan Mccafferty

A whale ship was my Yale College and my Harvard.

~ Herman Melville

Hey, Pedro, could you get your shopping cart out of my faculty parking space? Yes, I know you live on the street. But you know how hard it is to find a parking spot on the Upper West Side. After all, you used to be one of my best students! So how's that Columbia degree working out for you? Not so good, huh? Sorry about that. Really! But you know, a college degree isn't like some cheap used car. There's no warantee. Right, there's no Lemon Law either. Buyer beware! Look, Pedro, I don't want to call security again. Yes, I know they're your cousins. What's that? You'll wash my car for a dollar? Well, I guess that's a good deal. Where's your sponge bucket? What's that? You've got a hose? What do you mean, it's tucked in your pants? Hey Pedro -- no, no, no don't -- aw, Pedro!

~ Eric Foner

Look, Mrs. McGillicuddy, it's not my fault your son jumped out a dorm room window on Christmas eve. I've written over fifty books as a Columbia professor, all right? You don't do that by holding hands with every at-risk undergraduate who says he's homesick, or he's turning gay, or the dog ate his term paper. I write about Lincoln, and freedom, and great ideas. I don't always have time for students. It's like Dean Martin used to say: if you want to talk, go to a priest. Hey -- what's the gun for?

~ Eric Foner