Mystery Quotes

It's not who you know, it's who you sleep with.

~ Lois Greiman

Some men are warriors and some men are weenies. The trick is figuring out which is which.

~ Lois Greiman

Today's problems are yesterday's mistakes coming back to bite you in the ass.

~ Lois Greiman

Maybe life does suck, Pork Chop, but it beats the hell out of the alternative.

~ Lois Greiman

Just when you think you have life by the tail, it's likely to whip around and take a hunk outta your balls.

~ Lois Greiman

There is no greater hell than realizing you're in love with the guy you hate.

~ Lois Greiman

You lose a couple of pounds and get a guy good and drunk, you could have a hell of a good time even if you are not smart.

~ Lois Greiman

Generally, men are superior in the areas of heavy lifting, where there's a past only by pachyderms and building cranes. Beyond that, I believe any right-thinking thinking will see that women have the indisputable advantage.

~ Lois Greiman

The theory of relativity doesn't amount to a hill of beans when there's a bonfire in your shorts.

~ Lois Greiman

Fair play is all well and good. But knowing how to kick 'em in the balls can get you out of a jam 9 times out of 10.

~ Lois Greiman

Just remember this, Missy, escargot ain't nothin' but snails with their noses stuck in the air.

~ Lois Greiman

Beauty is only skin deep, but who gives a shit what's under their skin anyway?

~ Lois Greiman

Chocolate may be cheaper than a psychiatrist, but the latter doesn't generally adhere to your ass for the rest of your natural life.

~ Lois Greiman

If I want to catch the damn worm I get outta bed.

~ Lois Greiman

Always listen to your dog.

~ Margaret Mizushima

Some people are street-smart, some people are book-smart, but most people are just dumber than dirt.

~ Lois Greiman

I am a very good cook.” When she did cook.“Good. I like to eat.” He lightly bit her palm.The too-much-air feeling in Lucy’s stomach pressed upward into her heart. “What?” she asked past the constriction in her chest.“What do I like to eat?”“Yeah.”“Blondes with blue eyes.”Oh God. She pulled her hand from his. “Are you hungry?”His gaze lowered to her mouth. “I could eat.

~ Rachel Gibson

He held up his hand, and in it was... Oh, God. The neon-pink vibrator, glowing in the dark now. It was following her, stalking her, all the way down the yellow brick road to hell.

~ Jill Shalvis

He's just a flash in the pants.

~ Lois Greiman

Luck is merely a product of the happily delusional mind.

~ Lois Greiman

If I go to prison, will you arrange conjugal visits?

~ Jenna Harte

Life is what you make it. Unless some guy finds you with his girl. Then the ball's pretty much in his court.

~ Lois Greiman

You're just so lucky blood's so hard to get out of the carpet.

~ Lois Greiman

You're gonna sit down. You're gonna shut up. And by the grace of God Almighty, I ain't gonna kill you.

~ Lois Greiman

If it looks like a cat, walks like a cat, and has whiskers like a cat, it's probably a damn cat. But if it eats your groceries, messes up your kitchen, and makes you want to rip out your hair by the roots, you either married it or gave birth to it

~ Lois Greiman

Every morning I read the obituaries. If it ain't there I make myself a cup of tea and carry on like I have the past century or so.

~ Lois Greiman

I had escaped the snare of certitude that I welcomed so avidly at first and entered, via the name of Jesus, the wide and comprehensive company of Jesus.

~ Eugene H. Peterson

When in doubt, shoot 1st and ask questions later, but avoid the head, because they'rea lot more likely to answer if they're not dead.

~ Lois Greiman

Honesty is the best policy. But insanity is a hell of a lot more effective in court. So your set, McMullen

~ Lois Greiman

Breaking up is hard to do. But, bustin him in the head ain't that easy, either.

~ Lois Greiman

They say love makes the world go around… I been dizzy for a long time.

~ Lois Greiman

Sex is all right, but a hot fudge sundae don't never ask if the baby's really his.

~ Lois Greiman

I fear that someday you will abandon the joys we share and find another not worthy of your charms.

~ Lois Greiman

There’s an undeniable thrill about meeting a stranger and spending a few hours together, indulging in each other’s lives. It’s that spurt of saying whatever you want and leaving it behind with someone who’ll never look at you and think of it again.

~ Danielle Esplin

Death is the midwife of very great things.... It brings about the birth and rebirth of forms a thousand times improved. This is the highest mystery of God.

~ Paracelsus

Don’t waste a minute fretting over the infinite destructive possibilities of The Singularity. Think of all the fun we’re going to have along the way! It will all be one glorious adventure, start to finish!

~ Richard Long

The Holy Spirit's instruments have no consciousness of His purpose; if they imagine they have, it is a pretty sure token that they are NOT His instruments. Nathaniel Hawthorne

~ Eugene H. Peterson

In the end, it all comes down to the Blood...

~ Nathan Walsh

Nothing woke up a man as quickly in the morning as a scorpion in his pants.

~ Dana Marton

Girls. The oldest mystery in the universe.

~ Linda Sue Park