Carl Hiaasen said this quote

Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I'd be doing a hundred and twenty.

~ Carl Hiaasen

Hey. Sometimes life is a shit flavored Popsicle.

~ Carl Hiaasen

Dessert was an over baked chocolate chip cookies the size of a hockey puck and just about as tasty.

~ Carl Hiaasen

as a lobbyist he had long ago concluded there was no difference in how Democrats and Republicans conducted the business of government. The game stayed the same: It was always about favors and friends, and who controlled the dough. Party labels were merely a way to keep track of the teams; issues were mostly smoke and vaudeville. Nobody believed in anything except hanging on to power, whatever it took. .....

~ Carl Hiaasen