Josh Billings Quotes

the squeeky wheel gets the grease.

~ Josh Billings

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

~ Josh Billings

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.

~ Josh Billings

In the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money cannot buy...to wit--the wag of a dog's tail.

~ Josh Billings

There is one kind of laugh that I always did recommend; it looks out of the eye first with a merry twinkle, then it creeps down on its hands and knees and plays around the mouth like a pretty moth around the blaze of a candle, then it steals over into the dimples of the cheeks and rides around in those whirlpools for a while, then it lights up the whole face like the mellow bloom on a damask rose, then it swims up on the air, with a peal as clear and as happy as a dinner-bell, then it goes back again on gold tiptoes like an angel out for an airing, and it lies down on its little bed of violets in the heart where it came from.

~ Josh Billings

Success does not consist in never making blunders, but in never making the same one a second time.

~ Josh Billings

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.

~ Josh Billings

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

~ Josh Billings

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.

~ Josh Billings

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting things he has got.

~ Josh Billings

It ain't no disgrace for a man to fall but to lie there and grunt is.

~ Josh Billings

If it wasn't for faith there would be no living in this world we couldn't even eat hash with any safety.

~ Josh Billings

Faith is the soul riding at anchor.

~ Josh Billings

As a general thing when a woman wears the pants in a family she has a good right to them.

~ Josh Billings

Nature never makes any blunders when she makes a fool she means it.

~ Josh Billings

Pity costs nothin' and ain't worth nothin'.

~ Josh Billings

Pity costs nothing and ain't worth nothing.

~ Josh Billings

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.

~ Josh Billings

Most men would rather be charged with malice than with making a blunder.

~ Josh Billings

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.

~ Josh Billings

It is a very delicate job to forgive a man without lowering him in his estimation and yours too.

~ Josh Billings

It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself but the most inconvenient one too.

~ Josh Billings

It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself but the most inconvenient too.

~ Josh Billings

Debt is a trap which man sets and baits himself and then deliberately gets into.

~ Josh Billings

When a man gets talking about himself he seldom fails to be eloquent and often reaches the sublime.

~ Josh Billings

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.

~ Josh Billings

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

~ Josh Billings

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

~ Josh Billings

In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.

~ Josh Billings

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.

~ Josh Billings

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.

~ Josh Billings

A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.

~ Josh Billings

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.

~ Josh Billings

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.

~ Josh Billings

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.

~ Josh Billings

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.

~ Josh Billings

Men mourn for what they have lost women for what they ain't got.

~ Josh Billings

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

~ Josh Billings

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.

~ Josh Billings

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

~ Josh Billings