The best fiction is true.
~ Kinky Friedman
I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.
If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong.
I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass.
Friday night was the night most people thought they were supposed to have fun. Trouble was most people didn't know what fun was or how to have it, so things usually ended up pretty ugly.
May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.
How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design?
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
